Watch From the Distance

                                    

                                          
Sooooooo.... I saw this post on Instagram that basically said that according to endgame, Steve had to go back right to when the stones were removed so he would have had to watch Nat die and I'm not sure if it's accurate but I'm writing it anyways. 
                          
Steve wasn't prepared. 
                          
When they told him he would have to go back right before the stones were returned, he knew he would have to see her again. 
                          
He would have to watch her sacrifice herself and he wasn't able to do anything about it. 
                          
He would have to stand in the distance and watch as the love of his life jumped off a cliff for the greater good of the entire world. 
                          
He wasn't ready. 
                          
He returned the other five stones first, knowing that none of them would be as difficult as the soul stone. 
                          
When it came time for him to return in, Steve thought he would lose his mind. 
                          
Arriving in Vormir was painful enough. He knew that Natasha was there. Alive and kicking. 
                          
As he crept up to the top of Vormir, he hid behind a rock just large enough to conceal his figure and still force him to see everything going on. 
                          
Clint was arguing with the red skull, egging him on, challenging him to tell them the truth. Natasha sat silently on a rock, staring at the ground while playing with her braid. 
                          
Steve stared at her, longing to just run to her. To beg her to stop. To tell her how he felt. To save her. 
                          
"Whatever it takes..." She whispered to herself. 
                          
Steve's heart clenched at the sound of her repeating the words he had said to her that very day. 
                          
She stood up suddenly, facing Clint. 
                          
"You think I wanna do it? I'm trying to save your life you idiot." She told Clint, sounding more afraid then Steve had ever heard her sound. 
                          
Steve watched as Clint frowned. "Fine. You win."
                          
For a second Steve was confused, Clint said they fought. 
                          
Then Clint kicked Natasha's legs from underneath her and held her pinned beneath him. 
                          
"Tell my family I love them." 
                          
Natasha kicked him off of her, aiming her widows bite at his chest. "Tell them yourself." 
                          
She shot him and turned, hesitating for a moment. 
                          
Steve swore that she saw him. Her eyes locked with his and she sighed, looking away and running towards the edge of the cliff. 
                          
Steve's chest tightened and he wanted to scream. 
                          
A arrow hit Natasha's leg and she was blown off to the side as Clint ran past her, jumping off the cliff himself. 
                          
Steve closed his eyes. Natasha had jumped after him. He knew the outcome. He didn't need to watch her die. 
                          
He heard Clint let out a desperate yell and the cliff fell silent. 
                          
A wave of blue energy rushed up from the bottom of the cliff and Steve knew it was done. 
                          
Fighting back more tears, Steve stood from his hiding place and walked towards the red skull. 
                          
"Steve Rogers, son of Sarah. The stone has already been taken. Why are you here." 
                          
Steve held out the stone in his hand. "To return it." 
                          
The red skull reached out to grab it but Steve quickly retracted his hand, "A soul for a soul. Trade Natasha back and I'll return the stone." 
                          
"That's not possible. The trade is permanent. Nothing can reverse it." 
                          
Steve shook his head. "No. I just heard you. You said a soul for a soul. Her soul for the stone." 
                          
"It's an everlasting trade. It cannot be undone." 
                          
Steve shook his head, refusing to believe it. "You're lying." 
                          
The red skull shook his head. "I speak only the truth. The best I can offer you is a chance to see her body. That is the only possible exchange." 
                          
Steve's heart felt like it had been shattered into a million pieces. He had hoped that he could get her back. That he could save her. 
                          
Looking down at the ground, Steve finally admitted defeat. "Fine. Transport her back up here and I'll return the soul. 
                          
The red skull nodded, waving his hand and suddenly Natasha's body was laying a few feet away. 
                          
Steve handed the stone over and slowly walked over to Natasha. 
                          
Her arm was bent at an unnatural angle, her face was pale, and her hair was stained with blood. 
                          
Steve's eyes filled with tears at the sight of her and he sat down besides her, pulling her cold body into his arms. 
                          
"I'm so sorry Natasha. I thought I could save you but I failed." He whispered, tears now streaming down his cheeks. 
                          
"I could have saved you. I could have stopped this. You mean more to me then anything and I still did nothing." Steve said, despite knowing deep down that Natasha would never want him to sacrifice anyone for her own benefit. 
                          
"I thought that we would be going back home together. That it would be the reunion you deserve. Now that I know that's not possible I can't even imagine going back. Living in a world without you and Tony...that sounds miserable. Without you I don't have anything else to live for." 
                          
He brushed a piece of hair from her face and sighed. "I love you Nat. I hope you knew that. I hope you knew how much everyone loved you. I'll never forget you." He whispered, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. 
                          
He sat there for another few hours, just cradling Natasha's body to him, hoping that somehow she would wake up. 
                          
When he finally accepted that Natasha was gone for good, Steve went back to the others, he passed on the shield and dedicated his life to something greater, making sure Natasha and Tony were remembered for the heros they were. 
                          
Hey guys. This is the first of two depressing one shots so prepare yourselves for the next chapter. 
                          
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and if you did please vote and comment!