35.) I Hoped That She'd Be Back Tomorrow

                                    

                                          
A/N:
                          
I hate how impatient I am sometimes, but I just got happy that I came up with a new idea for where this is headed. 
                          
I'm going to try to space things out, but like I said I'm IMPATIENT!
                          
hehehe 💖
                          
Anyway, here's Freddie's chapter...






                          
November


                          
Every time I try to brush away the fires, the embers still burn me. It's been weeks of putting off any real, meaningful conversation. I'm just waiting on a break through that may never come. She drives me crazy- I don't know what else to do. I'm at a loss and I'm exhausted from fighting with her. I know she is, too. She just won't admit it. 

                          
The past month has been torture. Cherie has went back to running the salon again. Lucky for us, we were able to rehire Ceci. At least, the nanny coming back made the twins extremely happy! It's a good thing too, because I can't stand to be home these days. Cherie's been at the salon and I've been at the studio- each of us trying to stay out of each other's way. I guess, this is our new life together- just barely putting up with one another. 


                          
Cherie turned down my counseling idea- I guess this book is as useless as I thought it'd be. I've followed each step meticulously. Every thing has been a flop. Counseling was the last resort, the last step to follow through with if all else failed. Which it has! 


                          
Step one: Understanding. 
                          
I've given her space. Enough room to breathe and process for the both of us. I've tried to keep my distance and just emerge myself in my work. Even though, the state of our marriage always weighs heavily on my mind with each minute of studio time, at least my friends have been helpful. 
                          
We've even started planning some tour dates around Christmas time and the new year. Of course, I plan on spending those holidays with my family- I just hope me and Cherie are not at each others throats at least for Charlie and Richie's sake. She's very careful to not disrespect me in front of them. Which obviously, I appreciate, because her words..they sting. 

                          
Step two: Communication. 
                          
Well- that's proven to be a really hard step to get through. Every time I try to talk with her it turns into a big explosive fight. We've even resorted to hissing matches since most of the time the twins are just around the corner. 
                          
Whenever I open my mouth, the wrong words seem to spill out or she twists them around which ever way suits her argument best. She's naturally stubborn, I already knew that. I just know her mood swings and pregnancy is not helping her think straight. 
                          
Or maybe, it's just me holding on to something that has runs its course. 


                          
Step three: Surround yourselves with couples in happy, healthy relationships. 
                          
Well, I mean, I've done that. I don't bother Cherie when she wants to spend all her free time over at Rose and Rogers house. She claims to be helping with wedding planning, but I know she just doesn't want to be here, or around me. 
                          
Either way, I'm hoping her seeing the two of them so excited in their love will spark some sort of realization that we have too great a love to throw away. 

                          
Step four: Blame the situation, not your spouse. 
                          
This I have been doing since day one! It's Cherie who chooses to blame me. But the book clearly states not to "go against your spouse" and I try not to at every possible argument, but she just keeps bringing up her wack job of a sister and for fucks sake, what am I supposed to say about that?!