➵ 2.8 - michael

                                    

                                          
comments make me happy :))
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Everything sucked. It was horrible. That feeling of emptiness was back and it was heavier than ever before. That always confused Michael. If he was feeling so empty, so deflated, then how could that emptiness be heavy? He would think being empty and devoid of everything would feel light, like floating on clouds, but it was the exact opposite. It felt like being drowned in water, except without the feeling of water surrounding him. It was like the air itself was choking him, slowing closing in on him and draining the life out of him.
                          
And it all came down to Jade.
                          
On Monday, Michael didn't try to talk to her because he knew it would be pointless and humiliating. He was ashamed of himself for having agreed to the dare, for multiple reasons. The most obvious was that it was a douchy thing to do. Women weren't objects or prizes to be won after completing a bet or a dare. Michael hated himself for having done something that he hated many people for. Hell, it basically made him as bad as Bryce, if not worse. At least everyone knew that Bryce was a dick. No one would expect Michael to have a played a girl like he had Jade.
                          
And the other reason was Jade herself. Michael had wanted to tell her about the dare from basically day one, he'd just been too much of a chicken to admit it. Then he had told her things that no one knew about him and had made her tell him things about herself that she couldn't trust other people with. He had made her think he was a good person and he had ended up liking her and then he had lost her. Just like that. All because he wasn't strong enough to not give into peer pressure.
                          
On Tuesday, Michael said hi to Jade, but she blatantly ignored him and told him to fuck off. Michael wasn't mad; he expected her to do exactly what she did. He had hurt her in the worst way she could imagine and he deserved her harsh response. It only made him cry even more at night when that suffocating nothingness wouldn't let him sleep.
                          
On Wednesday, Michael told Luke and Calum that the dare was off. He didn't care that he'd gotten Jade's number and technically finished the original dare. He wouldn't be bringing Jade to prom just to win the second half of it. They were both a little surprised by that, but then again, they didn't know how badly he had fucked up. He wanted to fix things, he wanted to be able to breathe again without feeling like he was being choked. He wanted Jade back, even if it meant not going to prom.
                          
On Wednesday night, Michael saw Jade go towards the clearing where the trees came together, but she didn't go any farther than that. She stood there for maybe two minutes and then turned around and left. She didn't go into the woods. Michael wondered why. Was it because of him? Had he made that safe haven of hers into something unpleasant? Was she trying to block out anything that might remind her of him? It was possible. But Michael was doing the exact opposite. He was trying desperately to hold on to anything that reminded him of her.
                          
On Thursday night, when he went into the woods by himself, he brought his guitar and notebook. The feelings inside of him weren't something that he could dump on someone else, but he could change them into a song. And he did. A little bit.
                          
Ever since the day that we met
                          
I couldn't get you out of my head
                          
There was always something about you 
                          
Every chance that I seem to get 
                          
Finds a way to end in regret
                          
There was always something about you
                          
Michael was just finishing scribbling the last line down when he heard the faint rustling of leaves and froze. It wasn't some savage animal, he knew that. The sound was coming from the direction he had come in from. It was a person, or people. Because it sounded like more than one person walking. Michael turned off the flashlight and waited silently, not even dating to breathe normally. A minute later, two dark figures appeared, one smaller than the other.