our secret (JIN)

                                    

                                          
Y/n POV
                          
It was summer break when I saw him for the first time. He was moving in with his family to his new house which is right beside ours. I was swinging on the swing that was in the middle of our garden while sucking a lollipop when our eyes met for the first time. He smiled at me and I waved my hand returning his smile.
                          
It has now been years since that day and by this time I have grown an unhealthy crush on him. It's unhealthy because he is married and has a daughter, also he is too old for me. He is 35 years old while I'm just 18. 
                          
I met him first when I was 12 and immediately felt attracted to him. I thought it was nothing serious which will go away with time. But I was wrong, it stayed. My feelings were so strong that I can't think about anyone else but him. I resisted it for years and I'm still doing it. I don't want to make a fool of myself.
                          
I was often left by my parents home alone since I was really young with a babysitter. But since he moved in with his family, my parents sent me to stay with them when they are gone.
                          
It stoped once I turned 18. And these years were enough for me to grow attached to him. 
                          
We even celebrated festivals together. All this time while I was happy to see him and be with him so close I was also feeling guilty and jealous. 
                          
Guilty for liking someone I can never have and how wrong it is. Jealous everytime he are with his wife so happy, kissing and hugging.
                          
All these years have been hard on me. I wouldn't deny the fact that I did try few things on him, to seduce maybe. But those were really light actions and most probably I was making a fool of myself. I'm not brave enough to actually do something bold when I totally know he is a family man and I didn't want to get things awkward between us. I wasn't the shy type but there are many reasons why I didn't try anything bold.
                          
Since the past few months, once in a while I babysit his 4 year old daughter, Jiyeon. Yes I get paid for it. My mother forced me to get a job and earn some money and that's when he suggested to babysit his daughter. My mother was not a fan of it but she agreed. She wanted me to get experience and a real job. She knew that the Kim family would not be harsh on me like other bosses do.
                          
It was just another day of me babysitting Jiyeon. The house was dead silent since she was sleeping and I was just scrolling on my phone while sitting on a chair.
                          
It was near 10 pm when the doorbell rang. I opened the door to reveal the couple. They came in and his wife, Minyong asked "Where is Jiyeon?" I replied "She is sleeping in her room." she smiled and said "Thanks for looking after her. Here's your pay for today." and she handed me the money. I thanked her.
                          
She then said "Its quite late, let me ask Jin to leave you home." I denied her offer and said "No it's okay and come on it's just few steps away!" she chuckled and said "I know but he will leave you at the doorsteps making sure you are safe. I don't want to get accused by your parents." i tried to argue but she didn't listen.
                          
I walked out of his house and complained "This is so stupid, I can literally see my room from here." Jin chuckled and said "I know right? I understand you. I had strict and overprotective parents too."
                          
I asked changing the topic, "How was the date?" he replied "It was fine. Not the best, we had a little argument. Not to worry about but it ruined the date vibe." I sighed and said "That's bad. It's okay. It's not too serious right?" he replied "yeah it is okay. Oh look we are already here. Now go inside kiddo!"
                          
I glared at him and said "I am not a kiddo. I prefer to be called young adult even though I am an adult now." 
                          
He rolled his eyes and said "Ok, go in young adult." I smiled and get inside my house. Before I closed the door I said "Bye bye grandpa." and close the door. I hear him yelling that he isn't that old.
                          
You can say I'm close to him and his family. Our families are close.
                          
_______________________
                          
I walked in my room with a towel around my body after a shower. I see the curtains were open so I went to close it but then I saw a naked Kim Seokjin staring himself in the mirror. I stop there and observe him. He was well built and damn those shoulders.
                          
But most important what was he doing infront of the mirror naked? 
He then walked towards his bed and sat on it. He slid his underwear and then turned his head towards his window casually.
                          
Oh shit. I hid immediately. Shit I messed up. Oh my god. He will complain about it.
                          
I was panicking so bad, I checked if he was still in his room. The window was closed and the curtains were down. I calmed myself down and closed my window too, pulling down my curtains. I get dressed and then the rest of the day I spend time laying on my bed overthinking.
                          
How am I going to deal with him this Sunday? Both of our families are going out, which means interections. I messed up.
                          
A/N
I have zero ideas. I am typing whatever I have on my mind. I still need to update right?