Love Me Back

                                    

                                          
(Sherlock x John)
                          
Sorry it isn't as Sherlock-esq as it could be but I liked this idea. And though he is such an emotional person I don't know how to translate his way of expression to words so I tried my best. I hope you like this because this idea has been taunting me for a little bit.
                          
"Now it's time for the bride and groom's first dace. Will you please head to the middle of the floor?"
                          
I watch as a grin settle onto John's face as he grabs Mary's hand and they walk into the dance floor. Everyone steps back creating a large are for them to dance as the slow music reverberates through the air. They move slowly across the floor holding each other tenderly.
                          
I take a deep breath to control these feeling inside of me that seem to be bubbling over. Something I truly wish will never happen now or in the future. 
                          
It's so hard to love a man who you can't have.
                          
As the song comes closer to the end John dips her large happy smiles stretched across their faces. Something I wish I was a part of but I doubt they would be there isn't I were. I just seem to ruin whatever relationship I have. 
                          
Look at Molly. And Irene. And John.
                          
Before I fell I truly believed that I had some kind of chance with him. That he may give up his facade of "I'm not gay" to accept me, even if I've never been the best touchy feely situations. But now it seems as though Mary has quite an advantage over me that she never had before.
                          
Now they're married.
                          
During my speech I may have seemed so happy for them, though I truly am happy that John is happy, I had to lock many things away in my mind palace in order to give my speech. But as it always has, the feelings I have had for John broke free from their cage. Leaving me standing here watching him dance with his wife at their wedding.
                          
Once the song had ended and everyone was dancing I approached them congratulating them both once again. "I'm just happy you agreed to be my best man," John grins patting my back as he gives me that grin that has always had some kind of power over me.
                          
"My pleasure," I reply giving him a small smile not willing to make eye contact. 
                          
We all continue to talk and dance a little as it is their big day, That's is until Mary says, "Why don't you two go dance? My ankles bloody hurt and I think blisters have appeared on my toes."
                          
"Are you alright?" John says instantly holding her hand and helping her into a seat but she quickly waves him off.
                          
"I'm fine, you two should go have some fun," She states giving John a good push towards me while I quickly catch his arm as he stumbles a little. "Have fun!"
                          
John looks between us a few times before nodding and leading me further out into the dance floor. When we get there the previous song comes to an end being replaced by a slow song. 
                          
I don't know whether to expect him to offer me to dance or just walk off the dance floor. He looks back at Mary to which I follow his gaze as she gestures to him causing him to sigh.
                          
"Sherlock, would you like to dance?" John asks quietly and I am hesitant as he wishes not to have to dance with me but I sit quite want to give up this chance.
                          
"I'd be honored," I respond and he seems a little shocked that I actually agreed as if he though I'd reject his offer. He just nods and steps closer to me my breath catching before I force out more words. "But you are the girl."
                          
"What? Why would I be the girl?" John states looking up at me utterly confused as I just laugh. 
                          
"Because I'm taller," I state simply as it is quite obvious as to I should dance the male part.
                          
"That still makes no sense," John rolls his eyes huffing as he glares at me a little.
                          
"Oh shut up and let's bloody dance," I say exasperated as I grab his and placing it on my shoulder as I grab his other hand. I hesitate for a second as I lace my hand on his waist but then we start moving. 
                          
We don't do much other than sway in a circle but I guess that's because he's uncomfortable. He's dancing with me on the day of his wedding, that isn't with me.
                          
I sigh as I look at his face as he looks to the side, away from me. "John," I whisper to get his attention. I stare right into his beautiful eyes getting lost as I always have, they are quite distracting. "Relax, you're so stiff."
                          
John chuckles shaking his head as he once again looks away from me relaxing slightly, but I continue to stare at him.
                          
It feels like he's so far away from me, far from my reach even as he stands in my arms. I can't claim him as my own now as he never was been mine in the first place. He has a wife now who has been there while I was gone, someone who watched over him and kept him alive. Someone who is probably better for John and more stable then I will ever be. And I still want to be selfish.
                          
I can hear the song coming to an end so I take my chance and lean forward to my lips are beside his ear. I feel his heart skip a beat as our chests are now quite close. "I love you, John Watson," I whisper feeling a weight lift as I am finally able to say it after so long.
                          
I pull back and stare into his shocked eyes as he looks back and forth between my own. Then he blinks quickly as a fake smile grows on his face before he responds, "I love you too, Sherlock. Your my best friend."
                          
I give him a small smile as we split after the song ends and he heads over to Mary who is now standing from her seat smiling at him brightly. Mary meets my eyes and gives me a meaningful smile.
                          
She knew. Of course she knew, she is quite a clever woman. She gave me a chance to finally relieve this weight and I nod my head back in thanks.
                          
Then I leave.
                          
I don't stay around for more dancing or more conversations. I have done what I wanted to do and said all I have set out to say, so now I choose to leave. 
                          
Now that those words had been spoken my heart has accepted he will never love me back. I am finally able to lock my feelings away and have no fear of them bursting out and ruining everything. For John is happy and that is all that matters.
                          
For I have never cared for my own happiness.
                          
I hope you guys liked this, I just love Johnlock!!!
                          
See you next post✌🏻