Fucked

                                    

                                          

Eden: after I dropped off Lea, I went home. The night before had made me tired. The memories of killing the wolf in my property flashed through my head. I wonder what he looked like in his human form. Did he look like his brother? Now that I think about it they both had a similar scent. I was reminded that I had killed someone. Not an animal but a person with s family. I person who would be missed.
                          
I also felt scared. His brother went after Lea to get to me. What else would his family do to get revenge? Would they hurt her next time? Would they go after my pack? What about my brother? Usually it was an eye for an eye. Who knows what they would do? His brother just wanted to talk. He came alone not planning on taking me down. There was more to come. I knew it. I needed my pack. But I also needed Lea safe.
                          
Walking through the door, I went to my room. Rummaging through my dresser I found what I was looking for. I took the blunt and a lighter, and lit up. Soon I would be soaring.
                          
Laying on the bed, I smiled a lazy smile.
                          
"Kids don't do drugs," I laughed to myself enjoying my high.
                          
The only thing that was missing was someone to add to the fun. Someone to enjoy this with. But no one would understand. Not even Dani. But the only person I really wanted was Lea. I didn't want her to see me like this though. Deep down I was still depressed. The weed just numbed and distracted my thoughts.
                          
Hours later I woke up. The light had faded outside and I guessed it was around an hour before midnight. I couldn't remember falling asleep but seeing the lighter that had fallen to the floor made me remember what I had done. I was ashamed of myself and I was also disappointed because that was the last of my stash. Cigarettes would have to do for a while.
                          
Getting up, I felt even more depressed than before I got high. I needed to go for a run. Stripping my clothes I walked out of the house and changed right after closing the front door behind me. This change was a painful one. Even though I just woke up I was exhausted. I also couldn't remember the last time I ate so that made it much worse.
                          
The process was slow and painful but soon I was running through the woods in search of something to eat. I felt free in my wolf. I could live unbounded by human society and get along peacefully with nature. I could soar without the drugs and I felt the exhilaration without the cloudy mind.
                          
I didn't know exactly how I got there but soon I was running with my pack on my fathers territory. They welcomed me of course and we spent most of the night howling at the moon and hunting in a pack. We ate as much as we wanted not worrying about later on because they could always get more. They had strength in number.
                          
My pack was large, especially for this area. We baffled scientist because the wondered how the land could provide enough food for us. Two dozen wolves living here you'd think, even with the hunting restriction the humans had set so there would be more for the wolves to flourish, there would not be enough of anything. But there was. We just couldn't go out and hunt every day.
                          
So many wolves and I knew all their names and faces, even in their human form. All of them were different. I had grown up with them all my life, playing with the other cubs, being scolded by the older members of the pack, heck I was even taught with the kids my age at a little makeshift school the professor in our pack came up with when he wasn't at the local college.
                          
I never knew how much I missed them. Running with them made me long to be home again. When I was with them just running as my wolf I felt free and not so alone. It was when I was in my human form I felt smothered and the want to be alone came.
                          
As the sun began to rise I knew I couldn't stay. There was a part of me that wanted to come home but I knew my pride wouldn't let me. I sulked home while the pack still lay lazily by our kill. Only Dani noticed and tried to follow.
                          
I stood up taller and looked at him. Without saying or doing anything he knew what I meant and wouldn't dare go against my wishes. He turned and walked slowly back to the rest of the pack. I was still his alpha and we both knew, no matter how much I fought it, it was the truth.
                          
Soon I was on my own land changing easily back into my human. I went inside, cleaned off the blood in the basin I kept in the bathroom. Once I had scrubbed, I went and curled up naked in my soft warm bed. Soon I was fast asleep dreaming about running with my pack.