But Natasha...she knew that Steve loved her and that if she had said something they would have been able to be happy. Her chance at happiness was gone and there was no one to blame but herself. 
                          
Days and nights went by...Steve talked to Natasha every night about how much he missed her and how everything had gone since her death. 
                          
She knew that it was selfish but she looked forward to it everyday. 
                          
After the final battle he talked for hours. 
                          
"I wish you were here with us. It doesn't feel like a victory when I know that Earth lost two of it's greatest defenders. You and Tony both should be here right now. We should all be eating a big meal and celebrating. Not mourning." 
                          
He sighed. "I just miss you." He said quietly. 
                          
A few days later, Natasha watched as Steve returned all the stones. 
                          
She watched as he begged with the red skull to exchange Natasha back for the stone. 
                          
He was there for hours, pleading and begging for her. 
                          
Natasha wished more then anything that he would be successful but knew it would never work. 
                          
When he finally accepted defeat. Natasha watched as he stood by the edge of the cliff she had met her demise on. 
                          
"Nat, I'm so sorry. I thought I could get you back. But I was wrong. Now I feel even worse then before because now it feels so much more real." He admitted. 
                          
Then she watched as he made a decision to go back to Peggy. He talked to her about it first.
                          
"I don't know what to do Nat. I can't keep living as Captain America without you by my side. I'm thinking about going back to when I was in the ice...maybe trying to get that life with Peggy I always wanted. The only problem is that I don't want it anymore. It just feels so selfish. To go and get a life with her when I know that I am the reason you and Tony lost yours." He put his head in his hands and shook his head. 
                          
He didn't say anything when he made the decision to go back to her. 
                          
Natasha's heart ached as she watched him find Peggy and reunite. 
                          
At least he was happy, she thought. 
                          
Until she found out that wasn't the case. 
                          
Three nights later Steve was alone in the woods again, looking up at the moon that appeared so similar to the one from the day she died. 
                          
"Nat, I made a mistake. I was wrong about everything. I thought being with Peggy would help me move on from you. To ease the pain. But it only hurts more because no matter what she does she still isn't you." 
                          
Tears slipped down his cheeks as he continued. "I've not only ruined her chance at a life with someone who loves her but I've also put myself in a place where I can't do anything but think of you. Its hard Nat. And I wish you were here to help me through it." 
                          
He sighed and closed his eyes before walking back towards Peggy's home. 
                          
Natasha watched him with sorrow as he tried to go on with Peggy. She could see right through his fake smiles and reassurements that he was ok, despite the dreams that haunted him. 
                          
But as the weeks went on, Steve's conversations with Natasha became fewer and she had to watch as his fake smiles turned into real ones. 
                          
He still loved her. He would always love her. But in Peggy, he had found another friend. Someone who did make him happy. 
                          
Just not in the same way Natasha did. 
                          
Months passed before she heard from him directly again. "It's been a while... I've been trying to forget how much I miss you lately. Trying to pretend like you and Tony were never dead. It's selfish of me. To be moving on when you can't. And I don't even think moving on is the right word. Because I'll never move on from you Nat. Not in a million years. But I'm healing. The hole in my heart is still there but it doesn't hurt so much. Peggy will never be you, but for now, she's a good friend. I still love you Natasha. And I miss you. I hope wherever you are, you are happy." 
                          
Natasha couldn't help but cry as she watched him walk away. 
                          
That was the last time he talked to her for years. He had a daughter. They named it after Natasha, calling the girl Natalie. 
                          
Five years later when she had just been born, Steve sat on the docks with her in his arms. 
                          
"Hey Nat, I'm sorry it's been so long. I just wanted to say that I'm trying to keep you're legacy alive. We had a daughter, Peggy and I...her name is Natalie Antoinette Rodgers. After you and Tony. I love her so much Nat. And I feel awful because all I can do is wish that she was ours. Peggy, she's drifting away. I think she can tell I'm not the same. She just met the man she was married to when I woke up from the ice. I left her. I told her about everything and apologized and she let me have full custody of Natalie. I think she knew how much I needed her. I'm trying to raise her on my own now. But it's hard. I wish you were here to help me." 
                          
Natasha couldn't help but run her hand over the baby girls small face, even if she knew that it wouldn't be felt. 
                          
"I'll always be here Steve. Always." She whispered. 
                          
And she was. She stayed with Steve and Natalie every second of every day unless she was checking in on someone else she loved. 
                          
Steve continued talking to Natasha and eventually little Natalie did as well. 
                          
"My dad really misses you still. He says that you would have been my mom. I wish you were. He tells me lots of cool things about you, like how you could take down an army of agents with just your wits and strength! That's super awesome. I hope one day I can do that. Keep an eye on my dad for me when I'm sleeping. He gets bad dreams alot." Natalie said yawning. "Goodnight."
                          
Natasha sat down on the little girls be and sighed, god how much she wished the young girl was hers. 
                          
Years passed and Natasha watched as both Steve and Natalie grew older. 
                          
Natalie grew into a beautiful and strong women and Steve was immensely proud of her, always telling her how much she reminded him of Natasha. 
                          
Steve still talked to Natasha every night. Just about small things, but it made her happy just to listen to him talk. 
                          
As Steve got older, Natasha started to selfishly wonder if she would be reunited with him after him death. She hoped she would be. After spending every moment with him since her death she could only pray that she would get to finally see him again. 
                          
His death came when he was nearly 160 in total. Natasha watched the entire thing with teary eyes. She watched as the girl she had grown to love just from watching sobbed over her father's passing. 
                          
Then Natasha stood anxiously awaiting him. She didn't know if that was even a possibility. 
                          
Them she saw him. Young and looking the same as he had 60 years ago when she had died. 
                          
"Steve?" She asked quietly. 
                          
"Natasha??" 
                          
Natasha laughed and ran towards Steve, leaping into his arms and wrapping her arms around his neck. 
                          
"Natasha I missed you so much. I love you." 
                          
Natasha smiled, her face lighting up with joy. "I know. I love you too. I was there. I was always with you." 
                          
Steve hurried his head in her shoulder and squeezed her body to his as much as he could. "I knew it." 
                          
Natasha pulled away and kissed him with all the passion in the world. Decades of love she had pent up for him pouring out into the kiss. 
                          
"You're here now." She mumbled. Half to herself. 
                          
"I'm here. And I'm never leaving again." 
                          
"Good." Natasha said, kissing him again. 
                          
Hey guys. So this is the first chapter in a while requested by me 😂😂😂. It's huge and long and sad so I hope you enjoyed!
                          
Please comment your thoughts and vote!