Talking to the Moon

                                    

                                          
Natasha is watching Steve from heaven and she listens every night as he talks to her. But slowly as time goes by, he does it less often and she struggles to let him go. 
                          
The first day was nearly impossible for Natasha. She had figured out that she could watch everyone back home. The people she loved. 
                          
When she did it, it was like she was there in front of them, with them. It gave her comfort. 
                          
She was worried for Clint at first. He would blame himself and she knew that. 
                          
But as it turned out, Clint was better at dealing with loss then she had thought. 
                          
He was upset but did his best to accept it and try to find a way to make her death mean something. 
                          
Natasha eventually watched Steve. She found herself inside her own room with Steve sitting on her bed with a picture of the two of them in his hands.
                          
He stared at it longingly, tears streaming down his cheek as he looked towards the sky. 
                          
Natasha watched as he got up and put his shoes on. Then followed him as he walked out to the docks far from the compound. 
                          
Her guess was that he wanted to be alone right now. 
                          
Steve took a seat on the dock, his feet hovering over the water. Natasha sat next to him, although he would never know that.
                          
"Natasha..." He mumbled, looking up at the full moon. 
                          
Natasha looked over at Steve and listened as he tried to choke out more words through his tears. 
                          
"Natasha it's hardly been a day and I already miss you so much that my heart feels empty." He said, pausing. 
                          
Natasha frowned as she listened to him.
                          
"I've never regretted anything more then right now... I regret that I never told you the truth. That I never showed you how much I really love you, because I love you so much. I was stupid and stubborn so I kept waiting for the perfect moment and now I ran out of time. We ran out of time." Steve said, more tears falling from his cheek and dripping into the lake. 
                          
Natasha wanted to soothe him, she wanted to kiss him. She wanted to go back and tell him how she felt much earlier on. 
                          
Steve continued, "I don't even know if you felt the same...but I just wish that you knew that you were the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Maybe things would have turned out differently." 
                          
Natasha's breath was shaky as she tried not to cry. She wanted to be there with him so badly.
                          
"Now I'm talking to myself on a dock because I don't feel like anyone else could ever understand how much I love you. Nat...if you can hear this from wherever you are. Just know that I love you, forever and always. And that I miss you." 
                          
Natasha's tears were out of her control by now. She cried softly as Steve let himself do the same. 
                          
Eventually Steve went back to the compound, slipping back upstairs and into his bed without a sound.
                          
Natasha watched him every second as he tried to go sleep but would jolt awake, screaming her name. 
                          
She eventually did try to comfort him. She placed her hand on Steve's and waited for something to happen. For him to get chills, to wake up, to notice something felt different. 
                          
But he didn't. It was as if nothing had happened. 
                          
She gave up on comforting him that night and instead just sat besides him. 
                          
It was hard to tell who was experiencing more pain. 
                          
Steve was full of sadness and regret. He would never know how Natasha really felt about him and knowing that was beyond painful for him.