Chapter Thirty-Six

                                    

                                          
*Not edited* Not proofread* 
                          
Chapter 36– The beginning of a smile:
                          
        The stars seem a lot more closer from the top of the Ferris wheel. The air more crisp and fresh in a way. The sounds from beneath are a lot more distant. The smell much more appealing up high than it is down below. 
                          
        However, as the cage lightly sways in the night breeze of Raven Hollow, I grip the edge of my seat and refuse to look down. I don't bother to gaze into the distant like everyone else is doing and comment on how "beautiful" the town is at night. No. I don't care about how this little town looks during the late hours, nor do I care about how pretty the far-away lights are as they twinkle. 
                          
        I don't admire things. 
                          
        I don't gush over flowers or cute little fairy lights. I don't fawn over pretty sunsets, or smile up at the sky when it's shining with stars. I don't care about the moon when it's big and full.
                          
        So to me, looking up at the late night sky, staring off into the distance, smiling down at the heads of people as they walk around below me, is pretty much the same as staring at my shoes, or counting the round metal bumps on the cage floor. There really isn't much of a difference in my opinion. 
                          
        "Are you going to keep your head down the whole time?" Dakota asks in a low grumble. I probably would've looked up at him had he been important enough to acquire my full attention. But he isn't. So instead I stay focused on the twentieth bump on the floor that I'd counted. "What was the point in getting on if you wasn't going to even look up?" 
                          
        I clench my jaw, "If I remember correctly, this wasn't my idea." 
                          
        Dakota sighs, "I'm sure she wouldn't have suggested we go on the Ferris wheel if you'd told us you were afraid of heights." 
                          
        I look up at his accusation, before a sick feeling in my stomach causes me to look back down rather quickly. "I'm not afraid of heights," I snap defensively. "Shut up." 
                          
        The blonde scoffs, "I don't know who you're lying to. Me or yourself?" 
                          
        "I'm not fucking lying," I grit out, my fingers closing around the sharp edge of my seat even tighter. I can feel the metal digging into my skin, but don't really bother to pay it much attention. 
                          
        "It's okay to be scared of some things, Kody," his voice is much softer; sympathetic; understanding. "Some people are just afraid of heights, there's nothing wrong with it." 
                          
        I close my eyes, "Tell me I'm scared one more time, Dakota, and I swear to everything that's holy I'll snap your neck." 
                          
        "Why won't you just admit it?" He questions, dumbfounded. "Look, repeat after me. 'I, Kody Lawrence, am afraid of hei—." 
                          
        "That's fucking it!" 
                          
        I stand up, prepared to lunge at him, ready to aim for his throat and crush it in my hands, but the abrupt movement causes the creaking cage to swing back and forth harshly. I grip onto the closest bar and squeeze my eyes shut as my heart skips a beat— or three. 
                          
        "What the hell, Kodes?" I faintly hear Dakota curse.
                          
        I can't breathe. 
                          
        I cannot fucking breathe.  
                          
        "Kody!" 
                          
        "If by some twist of fate we get out of this alive, you're going to wish you were fucking dead!" I shout over the loud noise of creaking metal.