48. "get out of here"

                                    

                                          
Breanna Michelle Santana 

                          
   I woke up at the asscrack of dawn, knowing Grayson would've already been gone to the gym before work. 
                          
My father met me in the kitchen and slid over a glass of water and two slices of toast with grape jelly on a plastic plate. 
I bit into one slice of toast, crumbs falling onto my lap.

                          
It was weird, me and my dad didn't say a single word to each other but there was no tension. 
                          
He finished and waited for me at the front door. Once I stepped both feet over the threshold, he locked the door and we passed mom's car - she spent the night - on the way to his pickup.
                          
Some podcast played on the drive over. There was so much I wanted to say, to clarify, I guess, but nothing came out. I was sure my dad was disappointed in me for engaging in something so stupid as a bet, and for my behavior at the cabin. 
                          
======
                          
We were inside with the help of the key Grayson gave me that I would no longer be needing. 
                          
My father, Chandler, and I crept about the apartment in search of anything that belonged to me.
                          
I was rushing, not because I was scared of Gray, but because I knew I wouldn't be able to see him; he'd ask to talk and I would say yes, he'd give one of those apologies that I know I shouldn't fall for but do anyway, and then — knowing me, with no self-control — I'd cave in and probably end up sleeping with him. I hate myself. 
                          
The sound of energetic barks brought joy to my ears. My face lit up for the first time in over twenty-four hours. It was Aflie, the dog Grayson got me... which meant he was rightfully mine. So, I took him.
                          
Seeing me scoop the puppy into my arms raised my dad's suspicions. "Brea, we're only taking what we need. Don't you think stealing his dog will start a whole other war," he said. 
                          
"He is my dog! Grayson got him for me, I'm keeping him." I argued, snuggling Alfie fondly. 
                          
With nothing more to say, my dad claimed one of my suitcases and exited through the door after I told him I needed a minute. 
                          
Inhaling deeply, I looked around the apartment. My time there was brief but I cherished every second spent. I had one of those moments like the main character of a show on the season finale when they say they're moving or going off to college, ya know? 
                          
Suddenly, the door knob jiggled and fear became me. 
My anxiety faded, though, when it was revealed to only be my dad. 
                          
"Grayson's car just pulled up," he warned me,"we should get out of here. Let's take the back way." 
                          
With that, I hurried out but paused for a split second to think. After a quick debate between myself, I thought to put the key on the counter. Yes, I wanted him to know that I was there - despite it already being obvious with the absence of all my shit - and that I was done. For real, this time. 
                          
But isn't that what they all say, the devil on my right shoulder tortured me with doubt. 
                          
At last, I shut the door and made my exit with my father, luckily, avoiding confrontation.

                          
Once home, I put my things away and joined my father downstairs as he had off of work. 
                          
Clearing my throat got my father's attention so I spoke up. "When he asks where I am, can you just tell him I'm not home? Tell him I'm at Mom's or something, but I know he'll ask."
                          
Nodding, my dad put his blueprints down and looked up at me with caring eyes. "You sure you're okay," he asked me lowly.
                          
As he did a moment before, I nodded. 
                          
It went quiet again before I roughly slammed my body against my father's for a much needed embrace. 
                          
I pushed off stiffly and sniffled a tad. 
                          
Fast and awkwardly, I mumbled to him,"sorry for being a brat before. You and mom tried to give me a good weekend and I'm grateful for that. I'm also happy that you're with Angie; she seems nice and I want to get to know her soon so we can be a family again because I've never had a good example of real love in my life."