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I can't help but watch her drink herself away

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I can't help but watch her drink herself away. What happned?

I fight my way through the crowd and find her, in the same spot she has been all night.

"Are you alright?"

"I don't know," she signals for another beer.

"Can I get one too?" The bartender nods to me.

"You're not suppsed to drink," she scolds as she gets her beer in her hand.

"A special occasions call for occasional specialties," I smile as I get mine.

"What do you want?" She asks.

"You seem upset. Did it not go well with Jason?" I take a sip.

"It went fine. I jus can't deal with nosey people like that," she starts slurring her words a little- Not that bad- and talking a little slower, "I've had plentsy of people in my life like that. All of the foters I've ever had looked in at everything. I can't stand people lie that."

She drinks more until the bottle is all gone.

"I thought you said you would forgive him."

"Ariana says if I love him somesing little like this shouldn't get in the way," she smiles a little.

"Then why are you letting it get in the way?" I take another small sip.

"I guess I don't love him," she smiles again.

"What do you mean? You can't keep your mind off of him?"

"Yes I can."

"Can not," I challenge.

"Can to!"

"Prove it. Go 10 minutes with out talking about or to him starting now," I laugh.

"Fine."

"Not even his name can slip from your mouth," I test.

She looks off in his direction, "or looking at him cheater!"

"Fine!" She signals for another.

"How many have you had?" I'm tempted to cut her off.

"Uh. Well thats my... My sixth bear. And I had stwo glasses of whiskey. And I've had eight shtots since I started. I think I might have had a brandy or somefingt too," she slurs some more.

"I'm cutting you off then. This is not okay. You are not okay," I put my hand on her knee.

She laughs a little and stands up- well tries. She falls as she stands. But I catch her before she hurts herself.

She laughs again as she wraps her arms around my neck and comes in closer.

When I can feel her breath on my face something inside of me is tearing me apart.

I want to let her. I want to take advantage of this vulnerable, hot, drunk girl. I mean I love her don't I? Why wouldn't I.

But I look away from her anyways.

I let her keep hold of me, but I won't let her kiss me. I will not take advantage of her.

I love her, I don't want her to hate herself when she wakes up.

"What? Donth fou luv meh?"

"I think its time for bed," I help her up and we head toward the stairs.

"No! I wanna- I wanna anofer drink! Is my perty! I can do whath I wan," she starts pounding my chest.

"Stop fighting me, let me help you to bed."

"Promise you love me?" She looks up.

"I couldn't love you more than I do."

"Than yuv meh!" She laughs.

"Alright. Lets go to bed," I help her again.

We head up the stairs and I get her into her room.

She tries to get herself undone but she can't successfully. I decide to help her- but I kind of forgot she wasn't wearing a bra.

As the dress drops I look away and go find her a t-shirt to put on. Once its on, I look at her again and she looks sad.

"You don't want to love me?"

"I refuse to take advantage of you Vicki, especially in this state," I smile and lead her to the bed.

She smiles again as she lies her head on her pillow. "Wheres my phone?"

I look around and hand it to her when I find it.

I go to leave when she grabs my hand. "Will you come back?"

"If that's what you want."

She smiles and lets go and I leave.

"What were you doing with her?" An angry voice demands as I close the door smiling.

"I was helping her to bed. Nothing happned between us."

"Did you help her undress? Did you look, even a little. Because I will kill you," an angry Jason stumbles closer.

"Yes, I helped her undress, but I wouldn't look if she asked," I admit.

"I want to see her. I want to know shes okay," he goes towards the door.

"I don't want you!" We hear through the door.

"She doesnt want you," I repeat.

"Fine. But you better not have hurt her," he scolds and walks away.

After he's out of my sight I walk back out to be confronted by Klaus.

"Is she alright?"

"Shes in bed right now. She seems pretty upset," I grab a smoke from the nearby table.

"Her and Jason broke up?"

"I guess. But they love each other. I say this doesn't last a day," I look back in the direction of her room.

"What would you do if they don't get back together?" He lights a blunt.

"I won't choose her life for her. She's allowed to make her own decisions. Its up to her."

"Smart thing to say boy," he pats me on the back and walks off.

Of course I want her to choose me in the end. But I love her. I wouldn't ever wish to control her life. If she loves someone else, I have to accept that.

Once I'm done with my ciggeret I go back to Vicki, just as she asked.

"Your back!" She exclaims.

I smile and go sit on the bed.

"Are you okay?" She gets closer.

"I'm fine," I smile.

"I know," she laughs.

"Vicki, I told you. I'm not going to take advantage of you."

"Fine, but will you just lay here with me?"

"Of course," I smile as she lies back down.

I lie next to her and wait until she falls asleep to do so myself.

I have to accept it.

Aww, I kinda love Michael.

Anyway. We're so vlose to the end. Aren't you so excited?

What will happen with Jacki (Jason Vicki)

I love you!

~K3

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