Cover story

                                    

                                          
Summary: Stan sends the twins to steal king Gideon's crown. When Dipper gets caught he has to come up with a cover story. (Medieval AU. One sided Dipeon)
                          
The castle's tower was dark when Dipper abseiled down it's walls. The only light came from the moonlight streaming through the stained glass windows and the torch Dipper was holding precariously. He gave his sister, who was perched on the other side of the open window, a thumbs up when he reached the castle floor. This tower held the Crown Jewels and a variety of other treasures. Two guards were always posted outside of it's doors but no one had seen the Pines twins scale the tower in the cover of darkness. 
                          
Dipper wouldn't take the Crown Jewels, that would be horrendously obvious, not to mention impossible to sell. He began pocketing smaller things suck as gold-plated ornaments and silver candle sticks. They were mundane, everyday things in the castle but would sell for hundreds at the market. Suddenly the large wooden doors opened with a groan and Dipper only had a second to chuck his rucksack under a table before freezing like a deer in the headlights. A figure holding a flame drew closer, there was no way he could make a break for the window so he just stood there until the figure saw him.
                          
The candlelight illuminated the figure's face; he was pudgy, pale and had a shock of white hair. To his horror, Dipper realised it was king Gideon Gleeful. The king's eyes widened and was about to shout for the guards when Dipper stopped him. "Wait! It's not what it looks like!" He cried out softly, desperately stalling for time to think of a cover story. Gideon took a step back, narrowing his eyes. "What are you doing then?" He ground out. Dipper shot a glance over to the open window, thankfully the rope had been pulled up just in time. He breathed a small sigh of relief before realising he still needed to answer. "I-I'm a suitor." He stammered.
                          
Gideon cocked a brow. "You're a suitor?" He drawled, eyeing Dipper's less than impressive attire. "You do realise that the masquerade event ended two hours ago?" The brunette gulped. "I got lost?" He squeaked.
                          
The king looked unimpressed, until a smile twitched at his lips. "Prove it." He said. "I...What? I-I don't understand." Dipper blanched. "Prove to me that you want to marry me." He demanded smugly. This time it was Dipper's turn to raise a brow. "I don't think this is the time-" Gideon's expression soured and he grabbed the brunette's shirt. "Listen here boy, I know what you're up to. Now, you're gonna prove to me that you're a suitor. I don't want t'be sendin' a pretty little head like yours to the executioner." Dipper paled at that and felt his stomach flip. Swallowing his pride he leant forward and pressed his lips against the king's. It was supposed to be a quick, surface level kiss but the brunette let out a noise of disgust when Gideon tried to add some tongue into the equation. He could already imagine Mabel laughing hysterically, making jokes about this. He'd never be able to live it down.
                          
Dipper pulled away, cheeks burning red. He shuddered, suppressing the urgent vomit. The king must've got the wrong message because sent a grin. "Come to the winter ball in 10 days time, I'll be expecting you." He leered. Dipper didn't miss the hint of a warning in that last bit, he just nodded woodenly, watching until the other left the room. He rubbed at his mouth furiously with a scowl, before pocketing the brooch he'd managed to swipe during their encounter. He hoped it sold well, that bastard. The brunette slung the rucksack onto his back and grabbed the rope that had reappeared at the open window. He glared at Mabel's poorly concealed snickering.