by; magneticdice
Summary:
Stolen Pet AU: Carl steals a bunch of dogs and Ian is the one who has to return the scary-ass pitbull to an equally scary Mickey Milkovich.
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Ian was in the middle of a very pleasant dream when the sound of his sister screaming downstairs woke him up. He groaned and turned around, wrapping his pillow around his ears for good measure, trying to sink as deep into his bed as he could, but it was no use. He was definitely awake.
He begrudgingly got up and peed, then went downstairs to see what the hell was going on. He surveyed the scene before making it all the way down the staircase: there were five or six dogs running amok, either fighting with each other, marking their territory or tearing the room apart.
Fiona was flipping out, her face so red that she looked like she was having a stroke. "I thought we talked about this last time, Carl! There are rules, and destroying our house goes against those rules!" she shouted.
"Yeah, but that was before we needed the money so badly. Things are different now," Carl reasoned.
"Things aren't different," Fiona told him, throwing her hands into the air. "I told you that I would handle it, and I'm handling it. It's not the first, nor will it be the last time I have to work a couple of extra shifts to cover meet the rent. You're a kid, and you don't need to worry about it," she explained, putting a hand on his shoulder in true big-sister fashion. "Now get rid of the dogs."
"Hey," Ian said, finally getting downstairs and walking into the living room. "What's going on?" He watched Fiona, waiting for her to explain how Carl had screwed up this time.
"Your brother thinks that he can steal people's dogs and then return them for a reward!" she screamed over the incessant barking. A small chihuahua was trying to gnaw on her shoelace and she shook him away in exasperation.
Ian's immediate reaction was to laugh at the pure genius behind Carl's logic. "That actually doesn't sound like such a bad idea..." he said, and was met with a cocky smirk from his little brother.
"Ian! Look at this place!" Fiona complained again, eyes going wide with alarm. "Don't you dare encourage him," she added, narrowing them so that Ian would know how serious this was.
He looked around the living room again at the destruction the dogs had caused. A mean-looking pitbull was in the corner by the piano, chewing on one of Liam's action figures and growling at any of the other dogs who got too close. In the opposite side of the room, a mini poodle was squatting and taking a dump right beside their armchair, and the other two mixes were battling it out on top of the couch, seeing who would gain possession of the throw pillow. He could definitely see why Fiona was angry...
"Okay, maybe you have a point," he conceded, ducking his head slightly.
"You're taking them all back," she said pointedly, zeroing in on Carl again. "Every single one."
Carl actually smiled at her, flashing his teeth. "Okay, no problem," he said happily, earning another frown from Fiona.
Ian was quicker on the uptake. "He thinks you're gonna let him skip school to return them," he explained to his sister.
Fiona's frown grew when she discovered her obvious predicament. "No, absolutely not," she said, shaking her head. "No more cutting!" Carl crossed his arms in obvious disappointment.
"Fine," he muttered. "I'll do it when I get home."
"Right," Fiona huffed sarcastically. "They're not staying here! There'll be nothing left by this afternoon!"
