bonus five » only you

                                    

                                          
My last summer before university is over before it even starts, and it hits me like a brick when I realize how much things have changed since I was a freshman in high school. I've grown so much as a person, and watched the people around me come into their own. It's almost hard to believe that I'm turning eighteen in just a few days and then I'll be beginning the next chapter of my life. I'll be an adult, free to make my own decisions and it's a terrifying feeling. My stomach in complete knots just thinking about it.
                          
It should be easier as I get older, but it seems to be doing the exact opposite. When graduation hit, I was so excited for my summer with my friends but as each day passed, it meant I was one day closer to being further away from them. A few days after graduation, Isaac flew back to Rhode Island to start a summer internship and that was only the start. Eventually, Greyson had to get back to Los Angeles and before I knew it, it was my turn.
                          
You'd think I'd be used to distance by now. I'm no stranger to being away from the people I love, the people that have made my life worth wild and been there for me. My dad first left for tour when I was two years old, and was gone for nearly six months only seeing him when there was a bit of a break between shows. And that wasn't always the case. I grew up used to having a father for half a year, but I knew he'd always come back. No matter where in the world he was, we always had the same night sky to look at and that gave me some peace of mind.
                          
And at the very least, I had my brothers around but then freshmen year of high school hit and Greyson moved onto UCLA. It was easier knowing he was only two hours away whenever I wanted to see him and most weekends he'd drive up to spend at home. I thought having him away was hard, but it didn't nearly match up to senior year of high school. Not only was Greyson gone, but so were the twins and Felix. Today it's me that's moved away, and it doesn't feel any easier. Not with most of my family scattered around California and Isaac over three thousand miles away.
                          
It's a weird adjustment. One I thought I was ready for but the longer I sit in this apartment, the more I worry that I may not be. That it won't get easier, even with the longer I spend away from them.
                          
"Alright, I think that'll work," I hum at my handy work, staring at the new dishes I organized in our small amount of cabinet space. They're neatly stacked with each other and placed based on size to ensure everything fit. Despite the lack of cabinets, the place is way more spacious than either of us were expecting but the fact that I have my own place is the best feeling. For so long, I've been dependent on everything and everyone around me. Now, my only choice is to trust myself and Felix.
                          
We spent the summer in Malibu figuring out where we wanted to live before find the perfect apartment online. When we came to see it in person, we instantly knew it was the one for us. Just enough room for two without feeling like we're going to suffocate each other. The living room is the first room the door opens to, supporting a bigger table while the kitchen holds a breakfast nook and our in-house washer and dryer. The bathroom just outside the door to our bedroom. And the best part is the walk-in closet big enough for both of us. 
                          
I reach for the empty box sitting on the floor next to my feet when my phone starts ringing on the counter. My lips curl up when I see Riker's name on the screen along with a goofy picture of him sticking his tongue out at the camera.
                          
"Hey Riker," I cheerful answer the phone, squeezing it between my ear and shoulder as I collapse the cardboard box against my chest and carry it out into the living room to put with the rest of them. "What's up?"
                          
"Just wanted to check in with you," he answers as I settle against the emerald green velvet couch. "See how the moving in is coming along."
                          
"It's great! I just finished unpacking the kitchen and we set up the living room before Felix left for training camp this morning," I explain, leaning back into the cushions letting my blonde hair rest behind the couch from the high ponytails it's in.