i fell ~ jonah

                                    

                                          
Bare with me, this format is kind of all over the place. The italics are an idea? I guess? Under it is kind of an explanation/situation  for it. 
                          
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You and Jonah had been dating for five months when he had started acting strange. 
                          
"I dunno Zach, he's just been acting weird lately, distant and like, cold. So not Jonah." You told Zach, who sat at the other end of the kitchen table. He picked up a handful of grapes before speaking. "Why don't you text him? See if he wants to hang out. If he says no go over to his place and talk to him y/n." You grunted at his words. "It's hard to talk to him when he bluntly ignores me. And besides, I already did but he cancelled on me. Again." After chewing a few of his grapes, Zach continued. "He can't ignore you if you're in his apartment, and I'll talk to him, don't worry too much alright?" You nodded at his words. "Ok, thanks Zach." You pushed your chair away from the table and walked over to where he sat, patting him on the shoulder. "Of course, text me how it goes." You slipped on your shoes, your hand resting on the door handle. "Will do." You stepped out of the apartment, huffing as you walked the short distance to your boyfriends door. 
                          
Usually you would have just walked in, but you felt the need to knock on the door. You stood in the empty hallway for a few moments before you heard Jonah remove the chain. "Y/n?" He asked once the door was opened. "I, um, can I come in?" This felt nothing like the relationship you had built. Jonah seemed taken aback by the fact that you had knocked and asked if you could enter. "Yeah, of course babe." You brushed passed him into the living room. "I didn't know you were here." He said sheepishly, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. "Yeah, I came to see Zach since you were busy." Jonah swallowed. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to relax a little bit today, not really do anything." You stood in the middle of the room, wrapping your arms around yourself. "I would have come over and done nothing with you Jonah, we could have sat on your couch and watched tv or listened to music while you reread Harry Potter and I scrolled through Pinterest. We don't have to do anything when we're together. I just want to spend time with you before you leave again." Your voice was quiet. You were about to leave, forget that this happened and hope that if you came by tomorrow everything will have worked out, but then you stopped yourself. "Why have you been ignoring me lately Jo?" Your words were desperate. "What?" Jonah knew exactly what you were talking about, but he tried to deny it just as much as you. "You know 'what' Jonah. You've been home for more than two weeks and we have hung out once and you acted so distant the whole time." Jonah hesitated before he spoke. "I'm sorry baby, I-I just, I've been off for the past little while." "Was it me? Did I do something?" He hesitated again. "So I did do something? What was it? I don't want to be ignored and cast aside anymore Jonah, I miss you." He shook his head. "You did nothing wrong. This is all me." "Jo, please." Your voice cracked, making it higher as you finished the last word. "Tell me what's going on, tell me why you've been ignoring me." You tightened your jaw, trying to keep yourself from crying.  "Tell me how I can help." Jonah lifted his hands into his hair, running his fingers through the strands in a frustrated manner. "I-I can't." 
                          
It didn't happen quickly and all at once, more like a slow, gradual realization. It was so many little things that you did that made him subconsciously fall for you. 
                          
~and if i couldn't make things anymore complicated, here's a *flashback*~
You were sitting cross legged on Jonah's couch, nothing but a pair of his sweatpants tied tightly around your waist and a sports bra, which wasn't even visible because you had let the blanket consume you completely. Your feet lay in Jonah's lap, his thumb stroking soft circles on the fabric of the sweats. He looked over to you when you laughed at a joke one of the characters had said. The sun hit your eyes just right, causing them to shine. His heart warmed when he saw you bite your lip through your smile and he admired how you fiddled with charm on your necklace. He looked away quickly when something inside him clicked. He wasn't sure what it was, although it was familiar,  and stronger than it was when he felt it last. You seemed to have noticed him snap away from you because you directed your attention to him, eyes soft. "You ok?" You had asked. Jonah nodded slowly. You stared at him for a moment longer to ensure he was in fact ok. You gave him a half smile and curled your fingers around the side of his hand. "Ok." You turned back to the tv. Jonah's eyes had fallen back on you, a soft breath left his lips, a content one. The fear and uncertainty he had been previously feeling ceased. And it was simply because you were there. 
                          
That was the first sign that maybe he was falling for you, and it scared the shit out of him. 
                          
And then you cracked, and so did he. 
                          
"Why can't you tell me!?" You shouted when Jonah didn't answer you. He stepped forward abruptly. "Because I'm fucking scared y/n!" "Scared of what Jonah!?" You yelled, the fire in your eyes burned just has brightly as his. "You! Ok! I'm scared of you!" His tone matched yours. The expression on your face shifted from confusion to anger. "Please, elaborate." You said stiffly, sarcasm dripping from your words. Jonah spun around swiftly and stepped close to you. "I'm falling in love with you ok! I'm falling in love with you and it fucking hurts!" Your hands fell from your chest. Jonah shrunk back. "What?" Your voice had gone soft. "Look, I haven't felt like this for anyone since Tate, and to be honest I feel everything so much stronger when I'm with you." He said, stepping back and running his fingers through his hair, trying to bring his temper down. You had confusion written across your face, your eyebrows knit together and your mouth slightly agape. "Why the hell is that such a bad thing?" Jonah sat down on the couch, you came to stand in front of him. "Because," he exhaled. "Because she left, I felt so...lost when she did because I had invested everything I had in her. I thought she was it." He came up to you again, you didn't move, resulting in the close proximity of your bodies. "But then you came along. And you made everything so much better. I guess I didn't expect to fall in love again ok, I was so afraid of being hurt again so I just tried ignored all the feelings. But you, you made me fall so damn hard so damn fast and I was so damn scared." Jonah looked down to the floor, averting your stare. "You're telling me, you have been acting weird for the past two weeks becuase you think you're falling for me?" Your tone wasn't angry or pointed. Mostly just confused and looking for clarification. "No, I've been acting weird for the past two weeks becuase I knew I fell for you. Head over heels, totally in love with you." This caused you to smile. "And I didn't have the slightest clue what to do, I still don't." You stood on your toes so you were closer to him. "You tell me dumbass." Jonah opened his mouth to say something but you stopped him. "Because I love you too, and you and her, that was then, you and I, that's now." Jonah grabbed at your waist, pulling your body into his. "And I have a feeling it'll be a little longer than just now." You said before leaning up to kiss him. 
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A/n: next up jonah's b day imagine!! i'll fix them so they're in order once i actually get some writing done oops