"Shane," Ryland whispered, his voice barely above an octave to try and avoid waking everybody else in the house, certain Shane didn't want anyone else to see him in this state. Besides, his brother had always been a light sleeper, and Ryland was sure he would tell their parents if he woke up to his fourteen-year-old brother sneaking somebody through the door in the middle of the night – even if it was Shane. Ryland wrapped the blanket around Shane's trembling body and knelt beside him, running his fingers along his friend's spine to let him know he was there. "If you want to come upstairs to my room, I'll find you something warmer to wear for tonight." 
                          
The green-eyed boy looked up to meet his eyes, his face red and blotchy, and Ryland wanted to kill whoever hurt the boy he would take a bullet for. He covered his mouth, letting a small sob escape from it, and Ryland pressed his forehead against Shane's, willing him to catch his breath. After a short moment, Shane seemed to find his voice, his words coming out in shaky, gasped breaths.
                          
"I—I don't want you to h—hate me."
                          
This boy couldn't be serious. 
                          
"Shane, that's crazy."
                          
When Shane broke down again, Ryland knew he said the wrong thing. But, to him, the idea of hating Shane seemed unfathomable. To him, even if the world had something against the auburn-haired boy, Ryland was certain he would defend Shane with his last dying breath. He had tried to distance himself from Shane, tried to convince himself he would be okay without him, but he quickly realized he needed Shane more when he wasn't around. He was still confused as to why Shane showed up on his lawn in the middle of the night, but if he needed him to tell him how much he meant to him, he would stay up until the early hours of the morning to ensure the green-eyed boy believed him.
                          
"I could never hate you," He clarified. "Shane, you know you're my best friend. There's nothing you can say to me that would ever change the way I feel about you." When Shane didn't respond, Ryland placed a finger under his chin and lifted his head so he was staring into Shane's eyes. There was nothing he wanted to do more than kiss him, but he wasn't willing to risk his friendship with Shane to satisfy his own needs, especially with Shane's vulnerable state. "Let's head upstairs and you can tell me what happened."
                          
Shane ran a hand over his face and shakily got to his feet, following the blue-eyed boy up the stairs. Ryland tiptoed past his sister's room and opened his bedroom door, heading to his dresser and rummaging through the drawers for a short moment before grabbing a t-shirt Shane had forgotten when he had slept over a few weeks ago and a pair of black shorts that were a little too big on him. 
                          
"Is this okay?"
                          
Shane took the material from his hand and headed to the bathroom without a word. Ryland settled his body on the edge of the bed and buried his head in his hands, wishing he could wrap Shane in his arms and hold him until his pain went away. But, Shane wasn't his to hold, and as long as they were friends, he didn't mind bearing Shane's burdens. When the auburn-haired boy came back, Ryland took the sopping wet clothes in his hand and threw them into his hamper, making a mental note to wash them in the morning.
                          
"Sit with me." 
                          
Shane took a seat beside Ryland, his head falling onto the smaller boy's shoulder. For a second, neither of them said anything, their eyes focused on the stars in the night sky shining through the curtains, and Ryland couldn't help but wonder if somewhere in the world, there was an alternate universe in which him and Shane ended up together. Before he could allow the silence to grow too comfortable between them, he craned his neck to look at Shane, clearing his throat to bring up the elephant in the room.
                          
"Shane?" 
                          
"Hm." 
                          
"What happened?" 
                          
Just like that, the green-eyed boy's body tensed once more, like he remembered he hadn't shown up at his best friend's house in the middle of the night to talk about how their day went. Ryland turned around to give Shane his full attention, disconnecting their limbs from each other, and Shane looked at him wide-eyed, like he suddenly regretted coming over in the first place. 
                          
"I don't want to talk about it." 
                          
"Shane—" 
                          
"I want to tell you, Ry," He whispered quickly, as though he was afraid Ryland would be mad if he didn't get his words out fast enough. "I want to tell you so bad, but I'm afraid. I don't know who I am anymore, or what I want, and I'm afraid you'll be angry when you find out."
                          
"Why would I be angry?" 
                          
"Please, Ry." 
                          
He was torn between wanting to listen to Shane and wanting to know what Shane's demons were, and why they were so big, it felt like he couldn't tell his best friend, the person he normally told everything to. After a moment, he sighed and nodded, motioning for Shane to climb under the covers while he turned the light off before doing the same. For a while, both of them stared at the ceiling, counting the patterns drawn onto the tiles, the way they had done so many times before. When he realized Shane wasn't going to say anything else, and he grew tired of staring at the color white, he rolled over to face the door, hoping he would manage a few hours of sleep before sun woke him up. 
                          
"Night, Shane." 
                          
He heard the auburn-haired boy sigh. "Goodnight, Ry." 
                          
His eyelids fell shut a few moments later, succumbing to the exhaustion he felt, but it wasn't long before he opened them again. He wasn't sure how long he had slept, or if he even slept, seeing as the room was dark still, and for a moment, he couldn't figure out why he was awake. But, after a split second of wondering, he heard his name being whispered from behind him. 
                          
"Ry, are you awake?" 
                          
He didn't answer, partially because he was too tired to open his mouth, but also because he wanted to wait to see what Shane would say. After a short pause, he heard Shane sigh, and another minute passed before he opened his mouth to speak again.
                          
"Do you remember when—a few months back, we stopped talking for a while, and you—you said you didn't want people thinking that you were—that we were—gay."
                          
Oh.
                          
Silence.
                          
"I wonder if you still feel that way."
                          
He wanted to turn around and ask Shane what he meant, but he was supposed to be asleep, so he gathered his tongue between his teeth and bit down to keep from making any noise. He heard Shane's voice start to crack, and he wanted to take the older boy into his arms, but he reminded himself not to move – the chances that Shane would tell him what was wrong if he moved were slim to none.
                          
"I've been hiding something from you for a couple weeks now, but Garrett and I started hanging out together a lot, and after school today, we were hanging out, and we were watching a movie on his bed, the way you and me always do, and I—he looked at me, and he said some cheesy compliment, the way he always does when the three of us are hanging out, except this time, I could tell he was being serious. And, no one's ever looked at me the way Garrett has before, and he leaned over, and he kissed me, and I—I think I liked it." 
                          
He wished he would have let Shane know he was awake sooner.
                          
"Ry, I think I'm falling in love with Garrett." 
                          
And, suddenly, he was wide awake. 
                          
—
                          
To be continued...