Chapter Four

                                    

                                          
"Okay," Ryland settled himself back in front of his camera. "So, I'm not going to sit here and explain every day of the last twelve years, obviously, but I figured I'd give you guys a timeline of when things started happening. This was September, around a week or so into school starting, when Shane and I started talking again, and—" He paused, running a hand through his hair. "Garrett started hanging out with us over the next couple of weeks, and he and Shane became really close as well. And, I want to make it clear that I do not—and I've never—hated Garrett for what I'm about to talk about next. Like I said, he and I are still extremely close, and he was unaware of my feelings for Shane at the time."
                          
"Skipping ahead a little bit, it was the week before Christmas, I believe, probably around the 20th or so, because I remember winter break just started earlier that day, and it was eleven-thirty at night, I was asleep, and the few months before that were pretty uneventful as far as talking about sexuality went. Every now and then, Garrett would make a comment about how cute Shane was, but I didn't think anything of it. Of course, I was still handling my feelings towards Shane, but I was trying to do it without anybody knowing. Anyway, there was a huge storm this particular night, and I woke up to something hitting my window. At first, I thought it was a branch, because I could hear how loud the wind was outside, but then, I heard my phone go off from beside me, and—" 
                          
—
                          
"Shane?" 
                          
Ryland could hear the pouring rain from the other end of the phone, muffling what Shane was trying to say, and he furrowed his eyebrows, closing his free ear with his spare hand. He barely managed to make out Shane's voice as he rambled, but his words were impossible to understand next to the raging storm. He thought he made out the words 'Garrett' and 'scared', but he couldn't tell for sure with the excess noise in his ears. 
                          
"Shane," He tried. "Where the hell are you? I can't hear you over the—" 
                          
Suddenly, it clicked. But, no, because Shane was not that stupid, surely, to stand outside in the cold while the worst storm of the year was hammering down from the clouds. And, yet, when he climbed off of his bed and pulled open his curtains, Shane was standing on his lawn, his body visibly shaking as water dripped from the strands of hair attached to his forehead. Somehow, Ryland thought Shane was even more attractive, but he quickly replaced the thought with various other emotions — mostly anger. How did this boy seem to have no concern for his well-being when that was all Ryland cared about?
                          
"What the hell—"
                          
"C—Can I come inside?"
                          
Ryland immediately dropped the phone and raced down the stairs, feeling as if he couldn't reach him fast enough. Shane wasn't somebody who needed saving often, but when he did, Ryland took pride in being the first one he ran to, like he wanted Ryland to be the one to save him. He managed to stumble down the last few stairs, nearly falling into the door as he disabled the alarm system and unlocked the only thing keeping him apart from the boy he loved so much.
                          
He'd been trying to come to terms with his feelings for months, since he quickly realized Shane looked prettier with each passing day, but he didn't accept who he was easily. Sometimes, he believed Shane could like him back — the way he smiled at Ryland when they were doing homework together, the way he'd curl into him during their movie nights, and he would sometimes fall asleep with his head pressed into Ryland's neck, the way he addressed Ryland's family as if they were his own.
                          
When he yanked open the door, his heart began to pound. Shane was standing there, wearing nothing but a ratty old t-shirt and a pair of shorts, tears and snot and water mixing together and cascading into his mouth. Ryland reached out, hesitant to brush a finger across Shane's cheek, but the trembling boy leaned into his touch, letting Ryland rest his thumb against the corner of his lips. Willing himself to pull away, he grabbed Shane by the hand and dragged him inside, the water inside of his shoes drenching the rug in the foyer immediately. Shane fell into the wall, like he couldn't stand the emotional weight of the burden he was carrying, and Ryland ran to the couch to grab a blanket so he could ensure Shane wasn't going to end up with pneumonia.