Chapter Eleven

                                    

                                          
Chapter Eleven 
                          
     I held him tight. Tighter than I think I've ever held onto anything in my entire life. He was back, in my arms, alive. How was he alive? I don't care, it doesn't matter now. I couldn't focus as much because all that was on my mind was him. The happiness that had been ripped away that day I found out finally returned. Jason Todd. My best friend, the one who took my heart years ago. 
    "Jason." I let tears keep falling. "Jason it's really you? I'm not dreaming am I?" I pulled my head away to tilt it up and peer into the greens I knew couldn't belong to anyone else. I knew it! 
    "It's me V, I promise." He smiled down at me, his eyes glossed and streaming. He had taken his gloved hand and gently wiped some of my tears away at my cheek. 
    "H-How I mean—It's not possible!" I furrowed my eyebrows with the shake of my head. Then looked up again. "You died in the bombing, right? Or was that that a cover up for something?" 
    "Both — actually." He turned his head contemplating with a hardened expression.
    "So if you were in that bombing- wait you did die?! How?! How are you here?! How did you get brought back?! Nothing like that is possible unless..." I gasped, widening my eyelids. "The Lazarus Pit." I whispered looking straight at his chest. It all came back to me. That day Talia took me in, when she left to take care of something, it must have been him. The boy that was with her, it was- "It was you." 
     We meet eyes again, he looked confused for a moment. Just astonished I put any possible pieces together or even knew of the Lazarus Pit. "What?"
      "Talia, you were the boy who was with Talia." I complied.
                          
"I will return here shortly, don't disappoint me Valentina." She said. It was my first training day apart of the league, my first day even here actually. Talia Al Ghul appears to take everything at haste. Like throwing a child into the deep end. And here I am. That child in the deep end. She had taken me in two weeks ago, I was in a rabid state. Hungry, filthy but still alive. If she hadn't stumbled upon me I would never had made it. 
 Her men at her side began to escort me as she walked off down the grand hall within this palace on the mountain. I did as told, never did I want to do wrong by my savior. My eyes watched her men carefully. Watching as they walked, their posture, their expression. I needed a new home and maybe this won't be half that bad.  So I mimicked. My posture straightened. Granted, I've learned my manners growing up, but this was far different. I'd be learning to be a perfect soldier, an assassin like them. I wore robes, the robes that they wore, yet in a lower class if that makes sense. Prefect for the movements no doubtlessly I'd be applied to learn and execute. 
In the court yard, I was given a sword. It was heavy, and it hit the ground within second.
"PICK IT UP." The Assassin before me spat. If his mask didn't cover his mouth, his saliva would be all over me by now. I furrowed my eyebrows with anguish, my palms becoming sweaty. But I did my absolute best bringing it upwards. My hands shook from the tense weight but for a moment I had it. 
For a moment.
Down the sword clashed hitting the concrete.  I screamed almost toppling back but I caught my balance.  
"I SAID PICK IT UP."  He screamed in my face again. 
"I'm trying!" I spat back tightening my grip.
 "It's not good enough." He sneered, unsheathing his sword . The second he did he swung and with my own surprise my body reacted pulling my sword up and hitting metal against metal.  Is he insane!? I pushed my weight against his with all my might. Damn he was tall. 
He was tall, he was strong and I was weak.
To weak.
He shifted his foot and with one move pushed my sword up and went for another swipe. I dogged backwards losing balance tripping over my feet.  I yelped and landed on my ass within seconds. 
"You worthless, pathetic waste!"  He yelled as usual, the others just allowed this to happen mind you. Again — he rose his sword, both hands above his head ready for the death blow. "Now you die."
I felt tears weld in my eyes. No. No why are they just standing there!? It felt like slow motion. No one was here to save me, no one was here to stop him. My eyes had closed waiting for the final strike.
 Only I could.  
My hand gripped the handle tightly, and I screamed, bolting to the side slightly but straight up, sword toward this throat and piercing the blade straight through. He didn't see that coming, nor did I.
I could see the surprise within his eyes, so could I see the loss. Life wavering till it's lasts  second and he fell to his knees. My blade  angled, my eyes now watching in horror. I just murdered him. I then yanked the blade out, the weight taking over and making a clank to the ground tip end. Finally, he toppled over dead at my feet.  
I looked to the other assassins. One even backed away. 
"I didn't mean- I didn't mean to kill him." I stepped forward to them. Weren't they supposed to be my comrades? And as if matters couldn't get any worse, from the end of the court yard emerged Talia, her poise of walk could never be denied. 
"What has occurred?" She rose an eyebrow,  her gaze upon the lifeless man before me.
"I-I didn't mean to." I gulped looking down, I felt light headed. Dizzy. Scared for my life. Like I would be executed momentarily for my crimes. "T-To kill him. I didn't mean to." 
"Enough." She spat with straightforward direction. I shot my attention her. It was clear she wanted nothing for me to bare complications.  Then their was silence as she looked into my eyes. Just for a moment. "He was weak. Flawed."
I then furrowed my eyebrows in bewilderment.
"He fought with adequate. He was your head to this group. And you're just going to let-"
"Allow a murderer walk free? We're all murderes my dear. And may the strongest fight and survive in battle to fight the next. "  She lifted her head up as she ended that sentence, then peered down at the body before us. " Fernando was weak minded, his flaws my not be with physique, but by state of the mind he couldn't bare competitors nor impatience. So I put him to the test. He failed. One of these days would be his last due to that, and for you to be on the other side of the blade, well." She looked back, "Excellent exertion."
I was struck into silence.  Was this really what they wanted here? What she wanted? I looked at my blade, then at Fernando. And then again back to my blooded hand.  
"You may return to your quarters and bathe.  But remember my dear, your true armor may be what can be bare witnessed. That blood on your hands may be burred deep or left for the entire world to see what capabilities can achieve greatness. "
I looked up. An expression of acceptance of this accident- this lesson to be foretold upon the features of my face.
"I understand." I said without any remorse in my tone.
"Good." Her head turned to the remaining  soldiers in this army of shadows. "Dispose of this filth at once. All of you are dismissed. I have things that I must see to yet again."  And then she turned, waking away. For a moment I thought she'd pay no mind to me. But she had peered over her shoulder just for a a second . That's when I began to return this sword to its station at which I hade retrieved it from. I thought her gone as I looked back again.  But she stood near the edge of the court yard, a few high classed assassins at her side, and before her a, younger figure . One of a boy. I stepped forward with the tilt of my head, had she found another stray? And then I stopped dead in my tracks. Wait, that can't be-
"Jason?" I called out, my heart pounding with unnatural hope. Even though then I knew it to be impossible. 
Talia had looked back to me and then laid her hand at the boys shoulder. The boy looked mindlessly toward me. Yet I still couldn't completely tell. So I stepped forward and watched as he was ushered away. Talia following in tow. He looked like Jason.  It could be Jason, couldn't it? I knew he died in that bombing but- maybe. Maybe that was a lie? Or maybe m, I'm in the grieving stages to where the world around me plays tricks on my mind. Still trying to shatter my morality. My weakness. Love, such a weakness in its own way. Yet again such a beautiful strength.  I clenched my fist and looked to the ground. 
No. He's dead.
I rose my hands up and looked at the blood gleaming within the beating sun. And this must be who I'm to become. 

                          
    "It was you. All along." I felt tears weld up in my eyes yet again. "If I'd known for sure, I don't think I would have- I don't think would have done what I've done till this point the way I've done every single drop of blood and sweat, and effort." I pulled myself away now, my heart racing my mind a million times faster. "That point when I told myself it couldn't be you. That I really was alone, that my past is all it was going to be expect for one important thing to take care of, I gave up on all the good will. My heart, I gave up on it. Stayed focused on my mind. Nothing to falter due to emotions." I hugged myself in complete distance. "And here you are now."
      I didn't continue now. Was shame now coming forth because Jason was my past I let go that day? And now with his return, that part of me that died with him- it's back. I felt his hand at my chin, lifting my head up. 
   "Don't you dare cry anymore. Not now." He sniffed with aggression. The aggression directed to his own wavering, weak emotion being displayed that he's desperately trying to reel back in. He's always been like that. With such pain, with such sadness. He's always tuned it. Turned that sadness into anger and conflict because he didn't know how to bare it himself. Silently lashing out so maybe one day some one would take the hint and understand him. To see the real him. The loving, caring man I see before me right now. So full of passion, so full of ambition and hidden talents he only can truly express to those he trusts. To those he loves. I fell in love with him years ago, every bit of annoying angst he portrayed wasn't enough to drive me mad. "Not tonight." 
       I took my hand and placed the palm at his chest as I stepped even closer. He dropped his from my chin, his eyes darting to my hair he began to take into that hand, twirling the locks between his gloved fingers, and then softly taking those fingertips and guiding them down the side of my arms. Just as those beautiful greens watched as he did so, I did too. And simultaneously, that need whenever long ago he was near. That need of presence was far more intense now then ever before. At this right moment of return. He pressed my body to his, so desperately his hands went to my waist, my left to the side of his face just as desolate. That need, for now. Tonight was ignited as our lips met for the first time, since a never forgotten day of innocence.
                          
      We lost each other. Now were found.