Chapter 10

                                    

                                          
It was a boy, I was carrying a baby boy. That patient chair at my gynaecologists was really cold, the whole room was as well as the gel on my growing stomach, but Jess rubbing my hand with his thumb made it that much better. I don't understand how anyone can see anything on that blurry, black and white ultrasound picture, let alone think that it's cute. My mom wanted to come with today, but unfortunately she had a lot of things to do at the Inn.
                          
„He probably has the Gilmore blue eyes." Jess said with a smile, helping me off of that chair, smiling down at me. I took the pictures the doctor gave me and Jess gave me my coat. I texted everyone what the doctors said, Paris wasn't a texting person so instead she called me.
                          
„So it a little baby dude, huh?" She sounded very happy for me. „Yes, the chain of Lorelei Gilmores ends here." I giggled a little and in the typical Paris manner she said „Yes, because he's a Huntzberger." I didn't have to be there to know that she was rolling her eyes at me. She quickly changed the subject when she noticed that this topic has upset me. We ended the conversation with agreeing to see each other next week.
                          

 Jess and I made our way outside and he opened my car door. „You don't have to do that Jess, I'm not an invalid." I giggled and got inside. „I though we could do something fun today." He said as he got into the car himself. „The library?" My eyes lit up as I looked at him like a cute adorable puppy, his first reaction was to laugh a little, he started the engine and said „Not this time, I though you needed some distraction since today-" „Let's just drive" I cut him off, knowing well what today was. 
                          
He was really getting married, after all of these years of loving him, carrying for him, him saving my ass and me supporting him, this is how the love story is going to end? Some people would think that If I knew that this is the way it was all going to end that I would have spared myself and would spent my Yale years with someone else, but that is not the truth. The truth is, I am who I am because Logan loved me, he shaped me into a strong person willing to take risk and not being afraid. Our love was an epic one, we changed one another and there was no love like ours. I would never change anything that has happened between us, to me, everything was right, all of it, even if it hurt me.
                          
We drove straight into the city. Once we found a parking spot he opened the door for me I asked him what we were doing he answered „I'm taking you out Gilmore." I smiled „Out where?" He took my hand and started leading the way „To get the best hot dog in town." I swear this smile will leave permanent marks on my face, he was taking me where we went on our first New York date, well it wasn't a date, it was a farewell.
                          
We hit all of the spots like before, even hitting the music store we went. It felt like nothing has changed, he still had a great taste in music and a very great talent of finding cool artists I swear no-one has heard of. He even managed to find me a signed copy of the Bangles „All Over the Place".
                          
The place was still dusty and I swear the same creepy guy worked there, I have noticed to often that he was starring at me instead of the vinyls. Being here with jess was a breath of fresh air in the otherwise life full of worry and difficult decisions.
                          
„I never told you how much that visit of yours messed with my head back then." He said as we walked down the busy streets of New York. „What do you mean?" I asked him, knowing very well that I was also a complete mess after spending those hours with him. „Lets just say, I realised what I really wanted." He smiled at me and we continued walking, trying to avoid that topic again.
                          
It was comforting to have Jess in my life, we could talk about everything and it was always fun. He really had his life together now, living in the big city, getting published by huge publishing houses. I was so proud of him.
                          
The whole day was amazing, and it was slowly getting dark. I must admit, Jess really did replace my thought about Logans wedding with something infinitely more fun and cheerful. Once we were done with our ice cream, he took my hand and started pulling me towards a huge building. „Where are we going?" I asked, smiling at how excited he was. „This is one of my publishing houses, they gave me a key in case I wanted to work on my new book outside of their working hours." „They must be really into you Jess" I said, proud and impressed. „Or stupid." He laughed. 
                          
He eventually got us inside, it was a beautiful building, completely in glass, with modern minimalistic furniture. „I'm very impressed." I smiled, he lead me to the elevator and we got to the last floor, a couple of steps later we found ourselves on the top of the building.
                          
Opening the door he revealed the most beautiful view of the whole city. I walked outside and couldn't believe how stunning all of the city lights were, it was quiet up here. „I doesn't seem so big and scary from up here." He said behind me, I turned around, smiled and nodded, it truly didn't, everything down there was so overwhelming and crowded, this way the city seemed peaceful.
                          
„Rory, we need to talk." I turned around, I swear you could see the stars from up here. He stepped closer to me and took me by my waist. I looked up at him, slightly confused as to where this is heading. „I would never do the things he has done to you." He looked down, his tone was soft, just above a whisper.
                          
„It's not about what he did, it's what he didn't do." I looked away, feeling hurt all over again because of Logan, he really did hurt me so often I forgot to count. Jess pulled my face closer to his and kissed me. Yes, he actually kissed me. The whole world went silent and it was just the two of us. The feeling of pure calmness came over me, it felt amazing to be in his arms, just what I needed right now. I pulled away from him and smiled, he smiled back at me and cupped my head into his hands. „Lets get you home." He smiled, lovingly. I swear there was a whole universe of stars in his eyes.
                          
He took my hand and lead me downstairs to the car, giving me his leather jacket and having one arms around me at all times. He opened the door for me and we drove off, talking about the albums that we have seen in the music shop. It was an amazing change to talk about something other than the future and babies. It was a chill, casual conversation and exactly what I needed at that moment. 
                          
We parked right outside of my house, Jess took my hand and started telling me a funny story of him and Luke, we laughed all the way to my door, but suddenly, seeing him, I froze, we stopped laughing and I let go of Jess, taking a few steps forward. He looked tired, horrible, his hair was a mess. How long was he standing here? Wasn't he supposed to be having his first dance?
                          
„Logan?"