Chapter 26- where he explains

                                    

                                          
"What's that noise?" I said groggily as I get up from bed. I froze halfway when I realized I lost my voice. What happened to me. And my head hurts so bad. I know I just woke up but I feel tired. 
                          
"She's not here" I heard David say. My heart started racing. Who was here? Was it Maya? Trevor? Eh I doubt it, why would he come now after 2 months of not looking for me? It wouldn't make a difference. He was a free man , he could do whatever he wanted, he could sleep with whomever he wanted but Maya, Maya, tears stung in my eyes. How could she? She was my best friend. I thought she was going out with Michael. Does Michael knows about her affair with Trevor? 
                          
Why would she go out with Trevor. I know he's handsome and rich but why him, wasn't Michael as rich as Trevor? Maybe not but still rich is rich and he was good looking too. Why would she do this to me. Out if spite? I guess I would never find out . The banging and the shouting had stopped by the time I pulled myself out of thought. I guess whoever was at the door left. I walked to the living room to get shocked. 
"Trevor" I spoke but no words came out. "what are you doing here!?" I intended to shout but no sound came out. 
                          
As soon as he saw something was wrong, he ran over to me but I took a step back indicating I didn't want to talk to him. 
"What happened to her?" He asked as he looked at David. I thought he was going to hit him. 
"She cried herself to sleep because of you scumbag and she lost her voice you piece of shit! " David shouted at him. I was surprised that David said such a thing. He was so soft and Trevor was his boss!
                          
Trevor quickly turned towards me with apologetic eyes but I don't know why he was being apologetic for, it's been two months. 
"Maria" he started. Gosh I had missed his voice, saying my name like that. 
"I'm sorry" he simply said. Was he crazy? Was he fucking crazy right now!?
"What do you want!?" I mouthed angrily
" I want to talk to you" he said. 
I shook my head no. 
" Please" he begged , and I still said no.  
" Please, " he said as he got on his knees. I was shocked. The great Trevor Anderson was on his knees, begging . I couldn't comprehend it. 
"No" I mouthed. I started backing away from him slowly. He's not going to get me to listen to him just coz he kneeled. Anyone can kneel , fuck him. 
"Maria, please, just 20 minutes only, I don't need you to talk , I just want you to listen to what I have to say " he begged. I thought for a second, I guess hearing his explanation even if it's bullshit wouldn't hurt more than Im already hurt. I waited for a few seconds and then nodded my head. I looked at David and gave him a long hug, I knew we both understood what it meant. I looked over to Trevor again so he can lead the way. 
                          
We got into his car and looked at me. 
"I'm sorry Maria" he apologized again. I didn't know what to say, so I simply didn't say anything. I was already hurting as it was, I couldn't afford to utter a word otherwise I would break down in his car, which I don't want. 
"I'm really sorry" he said again. 
"You want my forgiveness?" I mouthed  looking straight at him. 
" No, I'm not asking for that," he answers. 
" Then what do you want?" I mother again. 
" I can never ask you to forgive me, that would be selfish for me, I don't want to have a clear concience, I hurt you and I deserve to live in misery" 
I was surprised by his answer , I never expected that to come out of his mouth. 
"Then what the hell do you want from me?" I asked with a little ,ok maybe a lot of anger in my voice, my voice was coming back a bit but it was hoarse.  
"I wanted to tell you how much I love you" he looked down. 
" You love me?" I scoffed " are you crazy?, No, you think I'm crazy, you think I'm nuts, right?" I said with disbelief. I coughed. 
" No,I don't think that , you know that"
" No I don't" I spat. He sighed. 
" About Maya, ..." 
"I don't want to hear it" I interrupted him. 
" Please, it's not what you think, I want to explain, please let me explain" he begged. I guess I should let him , it's good for me too so I won't always wonder what they had. 
"Ok" I agreed.
"Maya is my best friend" I looked at him in disbelief.
" True, she is" he insisted. 
"No, she is my best friend, no, was" I corrected myself. 
" Yes, she bacame your best friend later" he looked at me. 
" Go on" I beckoned him to continue. 
" I met Maya through Camilla, when she stareted  working for me, Maya was still a student. She was ambitious, and she always bugged me to take her to my company so one day I did and she talked to my lawyer and all that , I started taking her more often and we started to hang out at my house, soon we were friends, going out and stuff. She's the only girl- friend I have. We never had anything more other than just platonic friendship.  " 
" So you lied to me? Both of you?" I asked in awe. Maya had acted as she doesn't know Trevor on a personal level. They played me. All those time , I was the fool. Updating Maya on my relationship with Trevor yet she already knew. Instead of crying, a wave of anger washed over me. 
"How could you? Both of you?!" I whispered. 
" Maria, please, please listen, I need you to listen, can you do that for me?" He asked with pleading eyes. After a few seconds after my anger had faded , I nodded. 
"When I brought you to the house, I was alreday taken by you, I tried not to but I couldn't help it, you were so innocent,so pure, I didn't want to taint you but then you, you kept pushing ,in a good way I guess but then Maya and I agreed that you need a friend, someone to trust , someone to talk to but Maya could not be both our best friends so I have her up for you. But when you found out that I ...uh.." 
" Ran me over" I finished for him. He closed his eyes. I hurt him, I know I did, but I can't help it, I'm hurting too, more so. 
" ...hit you, when I hit you. I panicked, I had told Maya that I told you, she had made me promise that I should tell you ,I wanted to, so desperately but I thought if I told you, I will lose you. " 
" But you did" I whispered lowly. 
" Yes I see that now, I wish I could turn back time but I can't. She came to my house, she was angry but she also felt sorry for me, she knew how j felt about you and you... I don't think you do. " He paused as he looked at me. I looked at him. 
" I know how you feel about me, you don't care, of you did,you wouldn't have hurt me the way you did, you would have ran after me, but you didn't. , You would've looked fore, begged for my forgiveness, I was hoping that you would , I was ready to forgive you because you know what? I thought you cared for me, not even love but I thought well if he cares he can learn to love me the way I do later on. But guess what? You didn't. You knew where I was but you didn't. " I spat, my voice was still hoarse and it hurt to talk put loud. I coughed a bit.