𝙝𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙮𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙣

                                    

                                          
A/N: listen to Honeymoon by our lord and saviour Lana Del Rey.


                          
There are violets in your eyes
There are guns that blaze around you
There are roses in between my thighs
And a fire that surrounds you.
________

                          
"we should get married." 
                          
his voice rang through my head. i wasn't expecting it. it came so suddenly. i couldn't say i was disappointed, but i wasn't sure if i was happy. i mean, of course i was happy. so happy. but there was just something that felt off. 
                          
"Roger... that's- i-" i couldn't get a word out of my mouth.
                          
"i'm sorry. just forget it." Roger shook his head and looked down, avoiding my eyes.
                          
we stayed silent for a moment. even though my mouth didn't say a word, my thoughts were loud. my head was full of things. i stood there quietly, before my mouth corners curled up to the a really small, barely visible, smile.
i put my index finger under Roger's chin, and lifted it up, so that he was facing me.
                          
"we should." i whispered.
                          
"what?" his eyes widened.
                          
"we should get married." i said just a slightly louder.
                          
Roger's eyes started to get slightly watery, and his mouth had now a big smile on it. how adorable! 
                          
"wait Jill... Jill. are you- are you sure?" he stuttered.
                          
"i'm sure, Rogie. i love you." i smiled warmly.
                          
we were still standing on the balcony, and this could have not been any more romantic. the city lights decorating the night sky amongst the shining stars. maybe it was a bit cliché, but it was so romantic. Roger's face was so gorgeous under the moonlight. it was like straight out of a movie. 
                          
"i love you." he whispered, a tear rolling down his flushed cheek.
                          
"aww look at you getting soft! i wish i had a camera with me." i giggled, kissing his cheek that tasted salty from the tear.
as my lips left his cheek, Roger turned his head slightly and attached his soft lips onto mine. 
                          
the kiss wasn't really passionate, it wasn't rushed or hard, it was gentle but deep. it was safe. i felt safe, for now at least. the kiss was long, but it had to end at some point, i was already out of breath. as we pulled apart i looked at him in the eyes. his ocean eyes. they were so beautiful, even in the dim moonlight. the only thing deeper than his ocean eyes was his mind, it held so many things.
                          
"when we get back to London, we can start planning. i-i'll buy you a ring too! we can also-"
Roger started.
                          
"babe. babe.." i grabbed his hand, feeling his bicep under my palm. the feeling gave me a weird sensation all around my body. a good sensation. before i started thinking too much of that, i shook my head and kept talking. "there's no need to rush. when we get back to London  we can just relax and rest, you need it after this tour! we can just go there slowly. i also don't need a ring, seriously. i don't care about all that. just get me a flower and i'll be happy." i laughed a little. 
                          
"yeah.. of course." Roger chuckled a little. "i just umm..." he mumbled, not finishing the sentence.
                          
"what Rog?"
                          
"i just want to prove my love for you. i want you to know that i do love you. i've done so much shit, i want to make it better." 
                          
did he want to marry me because he felt like that's what he needed to do to make up for his mistakes? "Roger your mistakes and the shit you have done won't change, wether we're married or not."