When I knew I was out of Jack's eye line, I began to run past all the customers enjoying their food.
Tears clouded my vision, making everything around me into one big hazy blur. I managed to run outside and in the direction of the car. I practically threw myself in, slamming the door and ordering the driver to take me back to the venue.
Sobs wracked my body as I thought about everything Amber had told me.
I wasn't just crying because Jack played me. I was crying because everything she said was true.
I am plain, I have nothing special about me; I blend in. I am ugly, I see myself in pictures and I disgust myself, I can only imagine what other people think of me. I am boring, I don't do anything out of my comfort zone because it scares me; I like routine, I like order and I like stability.
Amber is none of that. She stands out amongst the crowd, she walks in a room and all eyes are on her and she's clearly stunning, not to mention daring.
She's everything I'm not and everything Jack deserves. He deserves someone who isn't a burden to him 24/7. He deserves to have people envying him because he has the girl every man wants and every woman wants to be.
As soon as we pulled up outside of the venue, I jumped out but once again all is saw was flashing lights. I quickly wiped the tears from my face, which I'm pretty sure was red right now and looked down.
I pushed past all of the paparazzi, struggling in the process.
"Lily, why're you crying?"
"Is it true you and Jack are a couple?"
"Are you pregnant with Jack's child? Is that why he's with you?"
Questions were being fired at me left, right and centre, making my head spin uncontrollably.
A large arm secured itself to my waist making me jump. I was about to push the person away from me when I realised that it was Steve coming to escort me into the building. He kept his face professional as he shielded me from the chaos with his body.
It seemed like an eternity until we reached the entrance, stumbling in and locking the paps out.
"Thanks Steve." I mumbled quietly. He looked down at me with worry. Please don't ask me what's wrong. Please, please, please.
"Want me to get Georgia?" he asked me with a sad smile. I nodded weakly, feeling the tears pooling in my eyes once again.
He awkwardly patted my back before dashing off to find her. Minutes later Gee came over to me with a sympathetic smile plastered on her face. She wrapped her slim arm around my shoulders and walked with me to the dressing room. We didn't speak as we walked and for that I was grateful.
None of the other boys were in the room when we entered and Gee locked the door so they couldn't get in either.
I slumped on the couch as Georgia took a seat next to me.
"Want to tell me what happened Lil?" Her voice was silvery and delicate. I nodded and turned to face her, fiddling with the hem of my dress as I began to speak.
"J-Jack took me out on a date and i-it was all going well until our waitress, Amber was her name, ruined it." My voice kept cracking when I spoke, making me internally cringe at how pathetic I sounded but to be honest, I was really hurt.
"How did she ruin it?" She rubbed my arm, encouraging me to go on.
"She c-cornered me in the bathroom and told me that Jack was pitying me and t-that he g-gave her his number." I further explained. Georgia pulled me into her arms when I finished, allowing me to soak her clothes once again with my tears.
I didn't hold back as I cried in her arms, letting everything out.
By the time I was done, I was numb.
"Do you want to sleep on my bus tonight? I have an extra bunk next to mine." She offered me and I pounced on the chance to get away.
She unlocked the door and led me down the hall and out of the venue. We walked over to Georgia's tour bus that was quite close to mine. I looked over at it to see Jack boarding the bus, his head hanging low as he stepped on.
I hurried to get inside so he wouldn't see me but it was just my luck that he saw me. Fuck.
"Lily!" He shouted, I jumped onto the bus with Georgia following my lead. She closed the door just as Jack came bounding over. He used his fists to pound against it, screaming my name; but I ignored him and went over to the bunks.
Georgia told me which one was mine and sent me off into the bathroom to freshen up. She had kindly lent me some pyjamas so I slipped them on and looked at myself in the small mirror above the sink.
The girl I saw in the reflection was not the Lily I knew; she looked tired, worn out and sad, so incredibly sad.
I had dark bags under my eyes and my skin looked dull and lifeless. Mascara and eyeliner stained my cheeks and my lipstick had smeared everywhere. My hair was just hanging on my shoulders looking like a birds nest.
I could no longer hear Jack's attempts to get me to talk to him so I'm assuming that Georgia told him to leave.
I found a spare toothpaste in a little cupboard and brushed my teeth before heading back over to my bunk.
I slid under the covers and couldn't help but think how lonely it was sleeping on my own.
With that in mind, I let myself drift off, sleep silencing my sadness temporarily.
Authors note
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