Deadly weaponry

                                    

                                          
Imagine this!! You, an impote-! I mean, omnipotent! Yes! Because if i used impotent then that would contradict my story for today...
                          
Omnipotent and impotent are very far alike.... ehehehehe...
                          
Anywho!! 
                          
You, an omnipotent person has the power to make anything, and I mean anything!! Turn into the most powerful and deadliest weapon ever.
                          
But what will you choose though?
                          
For me, I chose a spoon... idk why but i just thought, a spoon can kill humans, animals, plants, and Donald Trump; and you can also use that spoon to eat!!
                          
Cool, right? But when I thought about it, what if i just picked the dick as a weapon instead!!
                          
It'd be basically the most powerful dick ever!! Idk if Hulk, Thanos, Saitam, Gohan, or Goku have power in their own dick but I also dont care!!
                          
You can used that dick like a gun!! U use the balls as the trigger, and the bullets are the semen!!
                          
Then the bullets, in mid-air, turns into a gigantimum baby!! And whoever gets hit, will be squashed by the weight of the baby!!
                          
Its like a rifle tho, because a dick has many semen, so basically each semen is equivalent to a bullet, and a bullet is equivalent to a baby!!
                          
Then the gun dick turns limp after shooting all its load.
                          
And! And! And the way to reload the gun dick is by swiping the dick like any other guns, but this time, you have to jack it like normal dick, but just enough to harden it!
                          
The longer you jack it, the longer the bullets last before it rans out!!
                          
Everyone will practically be scared of ur enormous, scary dick!!
                          
Or! Or! Or!! U can turn that dick into a bazooka instead!!
                          
Basically with a bullet that can explode in a 10 mile radius(half the length of a circle!!!
                          
Everywhere, in a diameter(length of a whole circle) of 20 miles, is covered with deadly white fluid impregnating everyone!!!!!!
                          
Tho, this one deadly thing has only a single weakness tho...
                          
And it's condom... yep... a goddamn dick bazooka can easily be defeated by a tiny plastic that can easily be made into a larger size. 
                          
But still!!!
                          
But, if u're one of those calm people who doesn't care about chaos, u can just pick the deadly spoon and dangerously eat a cereal with milk.
                          
Still cool, but less cooler than dick gun!!
                          
My smarter self: "but where do we get a dick? We cant just rob the graves for some dead dicks or we cant just pull it off of a living guy, so how?"
                          
My dumber self: "lalalala~, i can hear anything~, im just readying myself on world domination by my dick bazooka and giant dick tank."

                          
Tho, guys, if u're originally a guy(good for you then -_-) u can just turn that dick of urs deadly and get all the chicks, bis, and gay guys you want...
                          
Ull have a monstrous dick that cant be kept in ur pants, and everyone will be amazed and aroused...
                          
Amoused? Idk...but yea...
                          
Ull have a monster dick, with all the girls and boys u want...
                          
Uggghhhhh!!! God, I just got triggered!! Fuck fuck fuck!!!
                          
I-I remembered something that traumatized me..... it was basically my first yaoi hentai... and well... im scarred....
                          
But that one is for another chap!!!
                          
Leave a funny comment!! Pls!! I need friends!!