Chapter 50

                                    

                                          
Tobias
I spent almost all night limping around the compound. I finally came back to the apartment around 3 am, give or take. Before coming home I got the casts off. They didn't want to take them off, but they did. 
                          
I walk out to go to the cafeteria where we are supposed to meet up. When I open the doors, it's deserted. Absolutely nobody is there. Not a soul. Did they already go? No. Not everyone volunteered. 
                          
I hobble to the pit and see everyone crowding around the chasm. "What's going on?" I ask, but nobody answers. It's almost silent. I shove my way to the edge by the rail. Oh my God. 
                          
A rope is tied to the rail of the bridge that crosses the chasm. No. My eyes follow the rope to the long, blond hair. No. To the small, perfect face with grey-blue eyes. No. To the small frame that wears a bloody and ripped tank top and leggings. All the way down to the worn down combat boots. 
                          
I immediately collapse in heaving sobs, my body unable to retain its composure. People love away from me, but I don't care. Tears, like a waterfall down my face. She's gone. My Tris is gonna and it's all my fault. I got her killed. 
                          
I dare myself to look again, just to be sure. The eyes are open and stare down the chasm. Her skin is blue, yet pale at the same time. All muscles are relaxed, but appear so tense. Her face holds many emotions. Mostly fear, but also looks brave or triumphant. 
                          
It's Tris. Pain rips through me. More painful than all the lashes and cruel words. More than anything. More than losing mom. I feel everything, but at the same time, I feel nothing. I feel broken. 
                          
The people clear out, leaving me clear views of the family that will have to live without their daughter, sister, and aunt because of me. Me. I did this. I was supposed to protect her. 
                          
They pull her body up and she just stares at the ceiling. Her eyes don't move. We all circle around her, Hana, Zeke, Uriah, Shauna, and Lynn. Mar couldn't stand it, so she took the kids to another hallway. Almost in sync, we all collapse by her side. 
                          
Of all our cries, Uriah, Hana, and I's are probably the loudest. He lost his other half, his best friend. They grew up together. Hana lost her only daughter. The one who was always there to help her when her husband died. 
                          
Me. The one who only knew her for five years. The one who got her hanged. She died for me. I wasn't worth it. I never will be. I never was. I'm just as pathetic and worthless as Marcus says. She made me believe he was lying. Now there is nobody. 
                          
Hana's trembling hands go to her face and pull her eyelids down on the eyes that made me feel safe. The eyes that once comforted me, now closed forever, never to open again. Uriah grabs one of her hands, but I don't grab the other. Trust me, I want to. 
                          
It's my fault and I don't deserve to be near her. Zeke grabs her other hand and presses the back of it to his forehead. Tears cover the ground around her. I just kneel there, my body trembling. 
                          
Hana wraps her hand around mine and looks up at me with tears voting her eyes. "I'm sorry, " I say, but it doesn't come out as more than a whisper. "I'm so sorry, Tris, " I cry, kneeling to put my head on her ribcage. 
                          
After a minute, I feel someone move one of my hands and put a cold one into it. I look up and see Zeke wrapping my hand around hers. He gives me a weak smile. His tears have briefly slowed. I put my head back down and squeeze her hand. 
                          
They take her body away and leave us standing there. Shauna, Zeke, and Uriah go back to Mar and the kids. Lynn walks off with her boyfriend. It's only Hana and I left. 
                          
I walk off to the railing and climb it, sitting on the other side. I don't bother to hold on. These no point. My legs swing, hitting the wall as I stare at the rushing waters below me. I lean forward.