Questions of Peace

                                    

                                          
What is Peace? 
                          
I ask myself that question more and more every day; I don't seem to be able to understand it myself. Is it merely a cessation of hostilities, a quiet cold war where no battles are being fought but hatred burns within our blood? Do we have peace now? Or is it merely the lull between battles. I fear that despite all my hopes, we are no closer to peace than the day I left Sellexu. 
                          
I have tried to raise my children in a way that they will embrace the thoughts of peace and partnership with a country that could be our greatest allies. If I had not been told that I wouldn't see it in my life time, would I have done more to force the issue? I learned far too late, that my greatest friend in this venture has died but I do not know if his children have been raise to think as mine. And what do mine think? One seems to understand only War, he reminds me so much of my sister despite having never met her. I can see his brilliance and steady control, even when he is enflamed with anger. Still, he has grown into a smart man and places his duty above even his emotions.
                          
And my daughter, who I see myself in more and more every day. I almost lost her to her dreamer's heart, a million times. She has followed my lessons of hope and peace most fervently, though I fear she looks more to the shadows than the light. She sees my dream as a need for protection against something we do not yet know. I know she believes I had more expectations and love for her older brother but my heart aches daily, hoping she'll enter my library and ask me to read her another book. History, war, law, inheritance law. None of it would matter to her even as a child, she would spend hours with me in my library. Or in Elana's. My bright star, who I know still has so much darkness to face.
                          
My youngest son, the forgotten child who followed his mother around and learned to read far quicker than any child I know. A boy who has more abilities finding ancient tomes than the does speaking with anyone other than his closest family. I am at a loss for what to do with and for him, though he seems to need nothing from me. He is content in his world of paper and books, though he finds companionship with those of us he loves.
                          
And finally, the two girls I've raised as if they were my own for almost fifteen years. A dangerous court, and unsteady nobles left me to raise a Queen and a girl from the family who wished to see her controlled. How Lord O'Vara became the holder of the peace is beyond me, and sometimes I wonder if I also hold control of our Regent as well. But these two girls have blossomed together with my children and I see hope for the future within their powerful gazes.
                          
Elana and I have done what we can, I just feel sorrow that I've rested it all on their shoulders. There's a pain growing in me that may not be entirely physical, a realization that I've reached the end of my usefulness and my precious family will have to carry on without me.
                          
Lord Eli O'Vara
                          


                          


                          


                          


                          
Part II : Alliance