I Have to TALK to Him?

                                    

                                          
FML I thought as I starred up into Xander's face.  
                          
Xander was truly beautiful.  6'3", built, (which I know from the boys taking off their shirts when playing lacrosse with Jack at my house, not that I would ever peak) blond hair, gorgeous brown eyes. Truly crush worthy.  But I had tried to play it smart and not have stupid crushes on my step brother's friends.  I was a nerd girl.  They were popular jocks and totally out of my league.  So, I drool yes, but crush no.  Really.  I could usually almost convince myself.
                          
"Hey," he said.
                          
Ok, he was gorgeous but maybe not Mr. Conversation.  Then again, I was the one who grabbed him in the hallway.  "Hey" was better than "Are you crazy?"   Oh my God, I thought, blushing. I grabbed him and kissed him.  If a boy had done that to me I would be pissed. What if he was pissed  at me?  Should I apologize?  And then I started babbling.  Because he may be Mr. Cool but I was not.  
                          
"I am sooo sorry. I should not have kissed your like that.  It was sooo wrong.  I was just furious with Ann.  I know you much be really mad at me and..."
                          
And then he started laughing.  At me.  At my apology.  Because that's not humiliating.  Nooo.  Not at all.  
                          
"I'm not mad that a hot girl kissed me.  It's fine.  No big deal, I heard the whole argument.  It was just a kiss.  It's nothing."
                          
Wait.  What? I'm hot? Did he just say I was hot?  Hold it.  Gorgeous, popular Xander just said I was hot.  But, no big deal?  It was nothing?  It felt like something to me.  Actually, thinking back on it, which I had been trying not to do all day, it had really felt like something.  My mind was spinning and I almost missed what he said next.  
                          
"I was trying to catch you before you left." 
                          
"You were." I stuttered out.  Great Livy.  You are winning the prize for brilliant and witty conversation today.  
                          
"Yep.  I talked with Mrs. Katz when the cast list went up about rehearsals.  They're at the same time as football practice so I'll have to miss most of them for the next three weeks.  If we go to state it'll be longer." 
                          
My brain tried to catch up.  We rehearse for two and a half months.  He is going to miss a third of the rehearsals.  Is he kidding?  The play was going to be a disaster.  Which I realized I have just said out loud.  
                          
"It's not going to be a disaster.  Mrs. Katz and I have found a way I can still rehearse.  You and I both have block 6 off so we are going to rehearse together during our free block.  That'll give us lots of time."  He says, clearly very satisfied with this solution.  
                          
And then I said the first thing that popped into my mind, "I can't. I'll fail math."  
                          
I can't even believe I said that.  Thank you, yes, I am a nerd.   And I won't fail fail math but it will be a problem.  My grades were important to me.  I'm not a jock, I'm not miss popular, I do not get the lead in the school play (OK I did now, but that was beside the point).  What I did get was good grades.  But math was hard.  I got good grades in math because I went in for help during my free period.  If I did not go in for help my grade would drop to a low B or, maybe even a C, which I was not going to let happen.  Not even to spend time with gorgeous Xander.  No boy was worth a C.  Probably.  
                          
He looked at me like I was crazy.  
                          
"Don't you get like As in everything?"
                          
Wooo that was flattering.  Nothing like having the hottest guy in school basically think you are a totally nerd girl.  Even if you were a total nerd girl.  
                          
"Not in math," I said. "Not without going in for extra help during my free period."
                          
"Ok," he said.  "I'll help you with math if you help me by rehearsing with me during your free period.  I need to pass theater or I don't have enough art classes to graduate."