she has to be

                                    

                                          
the smell of overwhelming disinfectant chemicals lingered throughout the gloomy building. shawn's feet moved faster than ever before along the glossy tiles. his eyes skimming over all of the numbers until he found the right room. 
                          
his chest heaved up and down as he tried to catch his breath. his heart was racing, but it was the last thing on his mind right now. the only thing he was focused on was her. 
                          
he ignored all of the doctors insisting on him not to go through the door. he pushed it open and what his eyes fell on made his world stop. it was like he was glued to the ground, he couldn't move. 
                          
her frail body dressed in the gown and the white blanket that stopped at her waist. her body hooked up to the machines by all of the tangled wires made tears fill his eyes. 
                          
he managed to make it to the side of her bed. he swallowed hard as he placed his warm hand over her freezing one. her body was covered in purple bruises and cuts that were starting to scab over. 
                          
he closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. this couldn't be real, he thought. this had to be a nightmare and he would wake up. the woman in front of him was just his mind playing tricks on him, he would wake up and she would be laying in his arms sleeping peacefully. breathing on her own. 
                          
but this wasn't a bad dream, it was reality. everything before him was caused due to a reckless drunk driver. all because someone decided to drive while they were intoxicated caused the love of his life to be unconscious. 
                          
the anger boiling in his veins simmered down when he realized that he just needed to be by her side. he took a deep breath as he sat down on the uncomfortable cushioned wooden chair. 
                          
he traced the diamond encrusted ring that shined on her finger as his eyes filled with tears. he blinked them away quickly before finding the words to say.
                          
"the doctors say you might be able to hear me, so guess you'll still have to listen to my corny jokes." he said lightly smiling a little. the smile soon faded as his eyes studied her pale face. the once pink tone in her cheeks had disappeared, her beautiful baby blue eyes were hidden by her eyelids along with her dark long eyelashes, her lips were parted due to the blue tube. 
                          
her chest moved up and down as the air pumped through her lungs. the beeping from the machine was the only sound that kept hope in Shawn's heart. 
                          
he sighed, "i shouldn't of let you leave. i should of chased after you. i shouldn't of started that stupid ass argument," he shook his head and looked up at the ceiling as he felt warm tears starting to form.
                          
"none of this would of happened if i would of just let it go." he said looking back down and shaking his head. 
                          
he stayed silent as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. once he trusted his voice again he continued, "your mom is on the way, she's really worried, but i told her you would pull through. i know you will. you are the strongest person I've ever met, and this is just a scrape on the knee for you, well in your case the cheek," 
                          
he tried another smile, "at least you'll have a cute scar." 
                          
his hands started to shake along with his breath. he gulped before standing up. he ran his fingers through his hair as he paced back and forth along the tile. he silently cursed at himself as he tried to hold himself together, 
                          
but he couldn't. 
                          
"y/n," he stopped as his eyes fell back to her, "you have to wake up. you have to tell me that you're okay and that you'll come home. i can't bare the thought of not being able to apologize for my harsh words, or not hearing your silly puns that i love," he stood beside her and pushed back the stray hairs that covered her face, "so open those breathtaking eyes because i need you, our daughter needs you." 
                          
the doctor's words ran through his ears as he held her hand close to his chest. then, like a dam that had broken, tears streamed from Shawn's brown eyes. a sob escaped his mouth as his body trembled. 
                          
he felt as if he was underwater and slowly, but surely his lungs were filling up by the seconds. he couldn't catch his breath, no matter how hard he gasped. 
                          
the feeling of someone escorting him out didn't even faze him. the tears were still flowing as ignored all the looks from the sympathetic doctors and other family members. 
                          
her mom engulfed him into a hug making him snap back. she cried softly as he tried his best to comfort her. 
                          
"she's gonna be okay," he assured.
                          
"she has to be." he whispered softly.