Ten

                                    

                                          
© Amber Kalkes 2014
                          

                          
Song---------}
                          
"Fade To Grey" By Nouvelle Vague
                          

                          

                          
Ten 
                          

                          
After years of being in and out of institutions one learns the dos and don’ts of it pretty quickly. So having said that you’d think I would know now to piss off the head honchos here as soon as arrived. Unfortunately for an orderly with bleeding bite marks on his forearm I didn’t feel like implementing my lessons at that moment.
                          
The lessons are pretty easy to live by behind the restrictive walls.
                          
Lesson one is: Never claim you’re not crazy.
                          
They all think you are already and as they like to spit back at you ‘crazy people don’t know their crazy’. It’ll just get you more medication and more watchful eyes on you, not to mention the good doctor Falk’s ‘special treatments’.
                          
And that is just something you don’t want to deal with.
                          
Lesson two: Friends are essential. They can help you when you need it but always for a price. They’ll expect payback and if you don’t they’ll make sure your time in the crazy house is spent in misery.
                          
Lesson three: Trust no one on the staff.
                          
Lesson four: Never share your real thoughts with your doctor. It’ll come back to bite you quicker than a pissed off rattlesnake. Then you’ll have to deal with some asshole with a doctorates degree twisting your words so they can pump you up with more drugs.
                          
Are their good doctors and facilities out there? Yes but Hazelwood isn’t one of them.
                          
Trust me, I’ve been here enough to know.
                          
Now, alone in the wonderful padded room at the end of the hall I can’t help but think of Gideon. My head falls back against the white padded wall behind me with a sigh as I try to sleep but finding the drive to dream simply leaving me.
                          
In retrospect it was probably silly to believe Gideon when he said I would never end up back here in Hazelwood. Sure he was a…whatever he was but still it wasn’t like he had the power to release me from this hellhole.
                          
Shaking my head I curl myself more into a ball and look out the small window at the top of this room. The window is about the size of a brick and nearly touching the ceiling; it’s so high up. It’s to prevent us crazy people from breaking it and trying to kill ourselves with the glass, which would just be a pity. Note the heavy sarcasm.
                          
This will make my fifth trip to Hazelwood and despite the years it never really changes. All the patients are zombies, all the nurses are idiots and Dr. Falk is the devil incarnate. In a sick way it’s almost like a homecoming for me every time I’m dragged back here.
                          
Which is sad.
                          
“Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that.” I sing into the emptiness of the roomand smile as the song ruefully reminds me of Gideon. “Bleaching you teeth, smile and flash, talking trash under my window”
                          
I hum the song and close my eyes.
                          
It doesn’t take long for sleep to take over.
                          
 
                          
“Wake up, Stewart.”
                          
I jump awake and look wildly around the room only to see a disgruntled looking orderly dressed in all white glaring at me. Orderly Greg not much of an intimidating creature physically but I know that he’s got all kinds of sedatives at his disposal and no one wants to be sedated in this place.