21- On Her Own

                                    

                                          
Happy follows right behind me into the guild, flying next to me.
                          
Erza and Gray fall behind me and I don't look back as I walk inside, chatter happening all around the room, the usual commotion.
                          
"You guys are back already? That sure was quick."
                          
I ignore Cana and walk farther into the guild while Gray stops to chat with her.
                          
Happy flies up beside me and pouts.
                          
"I'm hungry. Can we have Mira make us something while we're here?"
                          
Again?
                          
He's eaten here for the past few days.
                          
I forgot how much we ate here back then. Happy and I certainly weren't going to cook and it's cheaper here for us than it would be to go to a restaurant.
                          
"I'm not all that hungry but I'll hang around with you."
                          
Happy looks at me weirdly for a moment because of my response and then shrugs before looking around for Mirajane.
                          
He flies up towards the bar and when he doesn't find her he flies back to me.
                          
"Where's Mirajane?"
                          
Elfman overhears from his seat and he gestures to the stairs to the basement.
                          
"She's showing around our new member, showed up at the guild today asking if she could join."
                          
A pit forms in my stomach instantly. 
                          
"What?"
                          
He raises an eyebrow at me curiously and speaks cautiously.
                          
"A girl showed up while you were gone and asked if she could join. Mirajane is showing her around."
                          
My hands start to tremble at their spot at my sides and sweat starts forming out of nervousness. 
                          
No.
                          
It can't be. 
                          
I slowly turn towards the stairs, fear creeping up my spine.
                          
The sound of the stairs creaking as someone walks up them makes its way to my ears and I hold my breath. 
                          
It can't be her.
                          
Please don't let it be her.
                          
"Natsu?"
                          
Happy's voice rings through my head but my eyes stay plastered onto the stairs, unable to move.
                          
"He's steaming!"
                          
My clammy hands tighten into fists and the sweat forming on my body starts to sizzle as my emotions start to go unchecked.
                          
"Natsu, what's wrong? Calm down!"
                          
It can't be her. It can't be her.
                          
I say it over and over again in my head, trying to convince myself that it's true, though as soon as they make it close enough to the room the scent that slowly starts to drift to my nose gives it away.
                          
My eyes remain fixated on the stairs. Tremors make their way through my body uncontrollably.
                          
Two people appear from the stairs and the scent that travels up my nose causes me to stumble backwards a step.
                          
Mirajane and Lucy.
                          
They both have their attention directed at each other, conversation going on between the two. Lucy has a smile on her face and she's bubbling with excitement.
                          
My eyes remain fixated on her, at the sparkle that's in her eyes from being here.
                          
Mirajane spots me and smiles.
                          
"I didn't think you guys would be back so soon."
                          
I don't look away from Lucy and she follows Mira's gaze to me, her smile slowly falling away.
                          
Mirajane gestures to Lucy.
                          
"Natsu, this is our new member."
                          
Before she has the chance to say her name I turn on my feet and run to the doors. Happy calls after me but I ignore him and push them open, welcoming the cool breeze. I burst out and stumble a few steps before leaning down with my hands on my knees.
                          
My eyes stare wildly at the ground and my breathing comes out heavy.
                          
No.
                          
How is she here?
                          
I thought that I did it right. That I had finally done what I was supposed to.
                          
But she's here...even though I had never met her.
                          
My eyes return to normal, looking at the ground normally except a slight sadness in them.
                          
She still found her way to Fairy Tail, even without my help. 
                          
That just makes the day we had met in Hargeon insignificant. Lucy doesn't need me.
                          
She doesn't need me.
                          
It's not me that brought Lucy here. In the end it was Lucy herself. 
                          
Maybe that's the solution...
                          
Maybe I'm the one who is responsible. It could be my fault. Because I met her and took her with me she's gone.
                          
I groan in frustration and fall backwards onto my butt. I slowly lean back until I'm laying on the concrete.
                          
The sun blares into my eyes and I bring an arm up to shield myself from the light.
                          
What if she doesn't need me?
                          
Now that it wasn't me who brought her here, what if we don't become teammates and we're practically strangers?
                          
I close my eyes and sigh.
                          
As long as she's alive.
                          
As long as she's alive it doesn't matter, right?