I just want to say...I'm sorry.

                                    

                                          
I'm so sorry.
                          
 I put my family before you, even though they threw me under the bus. But you, you were always there. You helped me through my depression. You gave me a reason to life, and I took that for granted. You gave me everything I could have needed, and yet I wanted more. I thought that me moving to my old family would me make happier. It didn't. I tried for something I knew would fail. But while I was getting better, your werent.
                          
I didn't realize it until now. Until it was to late. But, since this is my last time to talk to you, I just want you to know that I'm so sorry and...I'll miss you. So much.
                          
(Y/n)...I love you.
                          


                          
I wiped my tears as I walked back to my seat.  I forced my family to stay home. My brother my a hand on my shoulder, trying to help as best as he could. But he couldn't, he didn't know what was happening. Watching the casket lower was the hard, but leaving was harder. Staring down at the freshly covered grave, knowing who laid underneath forced me to walk away. 
                          
Home felt wrong. It felt gross, like I shouldn't be there. My wife had already put the kids to bed and gone to sleep. My old habit of drinking began to boil so I broke. I poured the fire and watched it burn. But my mind was still uneasy.
                          
(Y/n)...god how I was it wasn't you. 
                          
Why was it you.