Letters

                                    

                                          
AN: 
                          
Description: Dan's been writing letters to his crush/best friend but he's never sent them. (I know cheesy) 
                          
TWs: None :) 
                          
. .  . .
                          
Dan loved to write letters. He couldn't actually remember the last time he sent a letter, of course, but he still loved to write them. He loved the way that you could take forever to write a letter and say exactly what you meant. Letters could be as personal or robotic as you wanted. He mostly wrote fictional letters. Most were romantic but many depicted adventures and friendships. 
                          
He often wrote about his real life and when he did, it could barely be classified as realistic. He mostly just placed himself and his crush into fictional worlds where the two were adventurers or where the two wrote back and forth to each other. 
                          
Every so often Dan would write something more based in reality. He would write letters to his crush. He never sent them, of course, and soon he had a small stack of letters addressed to Phil. 
                          
. .   . . 
                          
	Dan sat in his English class, composing his most recent letter to Phil. The teacher had finished her speech and allowed the students a bit of down time before their next class. The bell rang suddenly and Dan somehow ignored it. He was shocked out of his boredom by a hand landing on his shoulder. For a moment, Dan fumbled with his paper, almost dropping it, before turning to the intruder. 
                          
	"Hey, Dan," Phil said happily. 
                          
	"Oh, Phil, hey! I forgot you had this class next," Dan said attempting to shove the paper in his bag. The paper missed the bag and fluttered to the floor. Dan stood up, "I've got to get going. I'll see you at lunch!" 
                          
	"Bye!" Phil said, shaking his head and laughing slightly as he watched Dan dash into the hallway. He settled comfortably into the seat Dan had just left before noticing the paper on the floor. Phil tilted his head to the side slightly as he leaned down and picked up the paper. 
                          
	"Phil," the top of the paper said. He automatically recognized the handwriting as Dan's nice handwriting that he only used if he was writing something important. Otherwise, Dan's handwriting tended to look like a scribbled mess. 
                          
	Phil wondered for a moment if he should read it or not but suddenly the teacher began class. So he tucked it into his folder for later and readied his notes. 
                          
	He tried his best to focus during class but his mind kept going back to the letter he had tucked away. He had too many questions. Mostly why did Dan write a letter to him and why did thinking about it make his stomach flip? 
                          
. .  . .
                          
	Phil was halfway through his next class when he finally got time to read the letter as they had finished their work early. He grabbed the note excitedly and unfolded the letter. The letter seemed to mostly be in that neat handwriting of Dan's and there were little doodles and notes in the margins. 
                          
	"Phil," the note began. "I'm not sure why I still address these letters to you even though you're never going to receive them. I've been writing them for about half a year and now there's quite a collection tucked into my desk. 
                          
	"I don't think you know what you're doing. I don't think you've ever known. Sometimes, I'll look over at you and it becomes painfully obvious that you have no idea what you're doing to me. You don't know how your smile and laugh makes my stomach flutter or how I can't help but laugh when you make a joke (even when it's really cheesy). You make me incredibly happy. That's why I can't tell you that I-" 
                          
	The letter suddenly cut off with an extra scribble from Dan jumping due to Phil scaring him. Phil's stomach flipped as he reread the letter again, still not fully believing it. He smiled and hid his face in the letter. 
                          
	He suddenly stopped and read the letter again. There were more letters? He really, really wanted to read the rest of them. 
                          
Suddenly, an idea hit him like a lightning bolt. He grabbed a piece of paper that he had tucked away and started to write a response. He began to pour out everything he'd wanted to say to Dan. 
                          
Phil had barely finished the letter when the bell rang. He hopped up and gathered up his things before running into the hallway. Luckily, he reached Dan's locker at the same time as Dan. 
                          
"Hey, Phil," Dan said. Dan looked slightly nervous and fidgety and Phil wondered if he noticed that the letter was missing. 
                          
"Hey!" Phil said, handing Dan his response letter. Phil's stomach flipped as Dan grabbed the letter. 
                          
Dan's eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at the letter. "Um. What's this?" 
                          
"I got your letter," Phil said with a slight smile. "This is my response." 
                          
Dan glanced up at Phil with wide eyes. "You- what?" 
                          
"Read it," Phil said, nudging the paper with his hand. 
                          
Dan looked at Phil for a moment before he shook his head and unfolded the paper. Phil was pretty sure that he had never felt so nervous and it seemed to take Dan forever to read the letter. A deep blush formed on Dan's face and his eyebrows furrowed even more. Every so often, he would glance up at Phil nervously. 
                          
When he finished, Dan carefully re-folded the letter with slightly shaking hands. "Are you serious?" Dan asked, looking up at Phil. 
                          
Phil nodded, smiling softly. His smile suddenly faltered, "Unless, um, you weren't-" 
                          
"I was!" Dan said quickly. He grabbed the sleeve of Phil's jacket, looking slightly panicked. "Sorry," He muttered, dropping Phil's sleeve. "I was, um, serious." 
                          
"Soo..." Phil said with a soft smile. "Now that we have that cleared up. You know there's that dance on Saturday?" 
                          
Dan tapped his index finger on his chin, smiling slightly, "Hm. Dance? I don't think I do." 
                          
Phil shoved Dan's shoulder lightly. "Shut up. You've literally been talking about it for two weeks." 
                          
"Oh, that dance. Yeah, I guess I do. I still don't have a date for that. Why do you think you know someone who would want to go with me?" 
                          
Phil rolled his eyes but smiled slightly. "Would you like to go with me?" 
                          
"Finally," Dan said, beaming. "Of course, I'll go with you, you big goof." 
                          
. .  . .
                          
AN: 
                          
It's been a while, huh? My computer says only 4-ish months but it feels like it's been so much longer. 
                          
Here are some general updates I guess: 
                          
I started therapy and I've been officially diagnosed with anxiety, mild depression, and depersonalization/derealization (fun I know) but I'm working to get better and that's what matters. 
                          
I started listening to Night Vale (and I love it!) and Waterparks (also amazing) 
                          
I've applied to college (community college, I start online in the fall) 
                          
I'm going to New York in May! (I'm super excited, it's my senior trip) (we're going to see Wicked) 
                          
I've been really into my art recently so if you want more activity from me, it's on instagram or tumblr 
                          
Also, Capstone (my senior project) has been kicking my butt! I literally hate it but, hey, I only have to get through 3 more months 
                          
I think that's it? Anyway as much as I love you all, I have to get going. I've got capstone work to do 
                          
"Be proud of your place in the cosmos, it is small and yet, it is." ~Night Vale 
                          
I love you all so so so so so much! I missed you all, too. I hope you're having the best day and, if not, I hope it gets better. I love you! 
                          
~Nerdie