-Delusion

                                    

                                          
Rose
                          
I pace around my room and groan out of frustration. It feels like it's been hours since they threw me in here and based on how tired I'm getting its probably somewhere in the am.
                          
I'm running on adrenaline.
                          
Fuck. Ryder, what can I do? What the fuck can I do?
                          
I go and sit on my bed, trying to control my heavy breathing. 
                          
I look around and more horrible thoughts come to mind.
                          
My old room surrounds me, reminding me of why this place became a prison for me.
                          
The light purple walls used to be so pretty to me. This same king-sized maroon bed sits against the left corner, just like it did years ago. My feet brush against the new dark purple rug that feels as if it was put here yesterday.
                          
The old carpet was black and spikey. It hurt to walk on. I remember telling my dad about it.
                          
"Dad! My carpet keeps stabbing me. I need a new one, please!"
                          
He barely acknowledges me as he continues his paperwork.
                          
I pout and run up to him, pulling at his shelve.
                          
"Dad! Listen!" He shoves me to the floor.
                          
I begin tearing up.
                          
"If it hurts, walk through it step by step, ignore the pain. Focus on getting to the bed. That's your goal. It doesn't matter how much it hurts getting there, if you get there. Now get out."
                          
He shooed me away and I cried all day.
                          
He's right, though.
                          
This situation is like that black carpet, painful and each move hurts but the bed, Ryder, sits waiting for me. I have to make sure I get to the bed, no matter what. Even if the pain remains after I've reached it, even if I go against my morals. It's fine.
                          
I have to make sure the goal is still alive. I have to protect the bed, even on the black carpet where it hurts.
                          
Step by step.
                          
The door opens and is quickly locked behind Caleb who stands with a plate of what looks like spaghetti.
                          
The smell reaches me and my heart clenches with what could've been.
                          
My mom obviously made her spaghetti again, after 3 years of being away, the only time she makes it is now, when we're back here.
                          
She didn't make because of me, it's probably cause they had leftovers and my dad didn't want to waste them.
                          
She's become that man's slave and she doesn't care, so why should I?
                          
"You want some? Your mom cooked it beautifully." He walks over to me and sits beside me. I scooch away from him. He's the whole reason this is happening. Fucking traitor.
                          
I shake my head. He nods.
                          
We fall into a silence and the air is tense.
                          
My anger keeps building more and more and having this bitch next to me, isn't helping.
                          
"Why?" I finally say, unable to hold back anymore.
                          
"Why what?" He answers, tilting his head.
                          
"Why are you betraying Ryder? Wasn't he like a brother to you? You spent all that time together, you can't tell me you don't at least, feel guilty right now." I seethe out, crossing my arms so I don't attack him.
                          
He looks away from me, sighs, and puts the plate to the side.
                          
"I was never loyal to Ryder. The only reason I was in his gang was because my father wanted tabs on the gang he believed could become a potential threat to him. Since we weren't supposed to marry from another almost 8 years, he sent me in and I worked my way up to third in control. I still never tried to become friends with the others because I was there on a mission, which is why I hardly spoke." He glances at me. I blink at him.
                          
"I didnt ask you for your life story. To be frank, I don't give a fuck if your father threw you away for some stupid mission. I'm asking why you're doing this now. I get it, though. You were never close with Ryder. That still doesn't explain everything." I glare at him and he suddenly begins to chuckle.
                          
Confusion flashes through me but then again, I don't care why he laughing. He needs to hurry up and explain though, now.
                          
He calms down and his facial expression turns blank. No trace of a smile or anything.
                          
Is he breaking down? 
                          
"When I heard you had run away, everything I lived for disappeared. My dad pretty much threw me away, telling me if I couldn't find you, I couldn't come home. And I felt alone. The person I thought was waiting for me, like I was waiting for her, had just left and no one knew where she went. I went crazy. I can't tell you what I did but just know my life had been sculpted around yours, without you I became someone...different. Who I am, is to suit you. We're supposed to fit together like two halves of the same heart. But then I saw Ryder had chosen you, you out of the billions of people in this world, as his, even though you were mine."
                          
He looks up at me and scoffs. I inch back closer to my wall. He's slipping, it's like he's getting further and further away from here.
                          
"The moment I realized it was you. I couldn't stop myself from holding you. I wanted to kiss you, hug you, tell you 'it's okay now I'm here', but Ryder had taken my spot next to you. He still has. I'm the one you belong with, Rose, can't you see fate brought us together? You showed up right in front of me. I didn't have to go out to find you because you came to me. Ryder was just a tool. He brought you to me. Once he's out the picture, you'll completely belong to me." His eyes hold this crazed look and I feel my heart in my throat.
                          
He really believes I'm the one for him. He wants Ryder dead, because of me...
                          
"But, I love Ryder. I don't want you." I state, watching as he clenches his teeth and nods.
                          
"For now, he has you confused, once he's dead, though, you'll realize you love me. We were born for each other. Everything that I am, is for you, so everything that you are is mine as well." Caleb leans over and strokes the side of my face.
                          
His family ruined him. They didn't let him grow up like a normal kid. Instead, they used him to join our two families together.
                          
He must be so fucked up.
                          
He's delusional.
                          
His breath fans my face and I turn my head to the side to avoid anything happening. I peek down trying to avoid his eyes and see his clenched fist dripping blood. 
                          
Yeah, he's been messed up by his shit family.
                          
He notices me pulling away from him and finally backs up.
                          
He licks his lips and stands up.
                          
"Once Ryder is gone, you'll understand. I'll make sure its as soon as possible, our wedding is in three weeks, after all." He waves at me, and turns to leave.
                          
As soon as possible...no!
                          
Make it to the bed, no matter what. The carpet hurts and might leave you scarred but the bed is your goal so protect it even if that causes more pain. In the end, you'll be with the bed.
                          
In the end, you'll be with Ryder, alive.
                          
I'll do whatever I have to.
                          
My mind races and scrambles going back and forth with what's right and what's wrong.
                          
Fuck that, Ryder's life is on the line.
                          
Caleb steps out the room, about to close the door.
                          
"Caleb, wait!" 
                          
I need you, Ryder and I already promised to keep you safe.
                          
So I'll do it all the ways I know how.
______________________________________
                          
907k
                          
2/6/19
                          
Soooo guys we hit 900k 1 million is next uppppppp
                          
That doesnt even sound real
                          
Today is the last day of the 7 day update thing so I'll be updating every other day.
                          
We don't know what Rose will do, honestly it might not be what y'all all thinking or it might. Idk.
                          
Thanks for everything. I'm at lunch again 
                          
Ciao.