10. "i missed you"

                                    

                                          
Grayson Reid Jansen 

                          
    "Bro," Colson tried getting my attention,"BRO!" He hollered for the last time and I finally listened.
                          
"Huh," I answered, taking my eyes off the road for a second.
                          
He sucked his teeth and didn't bother telling me whatever he had to say.
                          
"Don't do that," I told him,"what you gotta tell me?"
                          
"Can we stop at Chick," he asked me as if that was so important.
                          
"—She was beautiful. I mean, she's always been, but gah damn," I went on about Brea.
                          
"You've been talking about her since we got in the car. Why don't you call her or something, go out," Colson suggested.
                          
"Like a date," my face turned up.
                          
"Yeah, isn't that what you do when you like someone? I'm only fifteen and I know more than you," Colson scoffed, earning him a head push.
                          
I laughed it off and scratched my nails in my chin stubble.
                          
"I dunno," I grumbled,"she's with Kaign and shit, I don't wanna-"
                          
"Don't tell me you're scared to take someone's girl, Holland told me about you in high school," Colson mouthed off.
                          
"You know too much. And don't be like me, I was dumb in high school. If you don't listen to anything else I've taught you, remember this: respect people's relationships," I threw some knowledge at my kid brother who didn't seem to be retaining any of it.
                          
He rolled his tired eyes and went to the Snapchat app on his cracked phone. 
                          
Minutes later, I parked the car outside of Chick-fil-a and hopped out the vehicle with Colson. 
                          
As I walked up to the entrance, I noticed someone in front of me.
                          
My gentleman instincts kicked in so I held the door open. That, and I knew who it was.
                          
"Thanks," Brea said without looking up to know it was me. When she did get a glimpse, though, she rolled her eyes and let the door slam on my face. I laughed it off and followed her inside.
                          
"Not exactly the ideal place for a date but I like her, she's humble," Colson gibed, making Brea look at me with concern. She folded her arms across her chest and waited for me to explain.
                          
"I don't know what he's talking about," I laughed nervously before shooing Colson away, stuffing a twenty-dollar bill in the pocket of his black hoodie. 
                          
Brea shook her head at me before faltering to the short line.
                          
"What," I snickered, grinning.
                          
"Your brother thinks we're dating," Brea asked me, she didn't seem too fond of the idea.
                          
"He jokes a lot, don't take him seriously," I assured Brea, waiting for her to step up and place her order. 
                          
"I can help you over here, sir," a thin, red-headed girl called out. I stepped towards her register and ordered a chicken sandwich with barbecue sauce, medium fry, and bottle of water. 
                          
The gentleman in me jumped out again when I offered to pay for Brea's food but she slapped my hand away. 
                          
Independent (stubborn) as always, I thought. I admired that about her. She hasn't changed a bit. 
                          
She wasn't looking at me, putting the deb card back into her wallet, when she asserted,"You wanna pay for something? Pay for my car note. I can afford an eight dollar meal, okay." Then, she brushed past me, gave a quick "thank you" to the cashier, and waited by the condiment counter for her food. 
                          
I couldn't help but look at her and be amazed. 
                          
"Thanks," I said to the girl who took my order, and then stood over Brea who looked at me like she was close to slapping me.
                          
"What," she barked, annoyed.
                          
"You really haven't changed, huh?"
                          
"Damn, what did you expect? It's only been a year." She flailed her arms.
                          
"A lot can happen in a year," I stated, turning my back to her when I heard my number called. Right after, as I was putting napkins in my bag, Brea grabbed her bag - if I remembered her usual order correctly, it was ten-piece nuggets, a large fry, and three barbecue sauces. 
                          
"Bye, Gray," she jabbered, trying to quickly pass me by but I couldn't let her go like that. 
                          
"Where you goin'," Colson asked me, his face torn up, as I neared the door. 
                          
"I'll be back, stay there and eat," I told him, pushing the doors open to get to Brea.

                          
"Brea," I called her name but she didn't stop. She unlocked the driver's side door to her car and cut her eyes at me.
                          
"Breanna!" I had to put some bass in my voice for her to stop and listen to me. Giving in, she slammed the door shut and met me halfway on the sidewalk.
                          
"What, we don't see each other for a year and this is all I get? I missed you," the words flew out of my mouth, coming off more sensitive than I liked.
                          
She dropped her shoulders and looked away before shaking her head, her mouth agape. 
                          
"I don't know what you want me to say," Brea responded.
                          
"Most people would say 'I miss you, too'-"
                          
"Can we not do this, please, Grayson?" A flustered look fell on her face. 
                          
"Do what, B," I grew fed up, pulling her off of the sidewalk, leaning on her car. 
                          
"This! The whole 'I miss you, I want you' thing," Brea plead, almost whining. 
                          
Suddenly, it all reminded me of back in college, the arguing. That is, before I lost her to that f— never mind.
                          
I took a step back and didn't say what I wanted to say - that she was right. That I did miss her and I did want her; and if I knew her like I knew I did, she wanted me, too. 
                          
"Brea, I don't wanna argue, either. I missed you, yeah. That doesn't mean I'm tryna get with you. Can't I just be happy to have my old friend back?"
                          
She smiled lightly and then it went away when she said,"No." My face straightened, unamused.
                          
What type of games was she playing, I asked myself in my head, growing irritated (and by irritated maybe I mean turned on because the hard to get act was kinda working, not gonna lie). 
                          
It wasn't until she started the car and almost climbed inside that she told me,"If you are genuinely happy I'm here and fine with being just friends, then thank you, I missed you, too."
                          
Although I was feeling a little discouraged that she shot me down like that, I put on a charming smile and waved as she got in her car and pulled out of the parking lot. 
                          
Rejection wasn't something I was used to. And it sucked.