Eight

                                    

                                          
© Amber Kalkes 2014
                          

                          
Song--------}
                          
"Blind" By Placebo
                          

                          
Eight 
                          

                          
Gideon’s warm breath is on my neck as he keeps me pinned loosely to the apartment door. I can feel his heat seeping through the fabric of my shirt and I fight against the instinct to lean into him. His hands are on either side of my head on the back of the door while his heart beats a tattoo against my shoulder blade. He smells of cinnamon and apples making me inhale it deeply, committing it to memory since I’m sure it’s the last time I’ll allow myself to do so.
                          
“You’re not going anywhere.” He repeats into my ear making my hair tickle my neck a bit.
                          
“I need to—“
                          
His hand slams on the wood of the door before he repeats the phrase a third time but this time slower, “You are not going anywhere.”
                          
I shiver a bit at the low tone of his voice, “Are you threatening me?”
                          
“That depends if you’ll listen more affectively.”
                          
I can hear the smirk in his voice and I nearly want to smile at the recycled line from when I was first in this apartment with him. The want to smile is wiped away swiftly though when I remind myself that he lured me here under false pretenses. I don’t need to have a replay of the Jonathan Randall scandal.
                          
Johnny was a kid as fucked up as I and from the same family background but it was said his family practically walked on water. He was richer than god but was a hardcore heroine addict. I don’t know why he was but he just was. My dad pushed us together and though I actually found I liked Johnny he told everyone he was just playing along to keep daddy from cutting him off the payroll. It took five months of being together before anyone bothered telling me and I was left a laughing stock even more than I already was.
                          
You can only trust yourself; my brain reminds me snidely.
                          
It was a lesson hard learned and punctuated with a broken heart.
                          
“I can’t help your sister. I don’t know why you think I can but I can’t.” I tell him in my coldest voice, despite the sensation of his warmth wrapping around me.
                          
He sighs and grabs my upper arm to turn me so my back is to the door. I look over his shoulder surprised to see Orin and Lila are out of sight but the bedroom door Lila came out of is closed. Perhaps they’re in there. Gideon grabs my chin in his grasp and tilts my head up so I have no choice but to meet his penetrating gaze. He places his other arm against the door again as he leans down so we’re on equal eye level. The purple shade of his eyes too deep to be heather or lilac like I first assumed peer into mine and I decide they are the shade of amethyst.
                          
 “I saw you do it with the bonsai tree, Tully. I know you can do it.”
                          
I let out a stuttered breath, “What do you even want me to heal, Gideon? I mean honestly I fixed a fucking tree not a person! They probably work differently! How can you even think I—“
                          
Gideon rolls his eyes and puts his massive hand over my mouth cutting me off, “Shut up for a second and I’ll explain. Think you can the impossible and stop talking long enough to listen?”
                          
I narrow my eyes but nod once, a bit intrigued as to where this is going.
                          
“First of all, I think you can fix her because I believe in your abilities. I also think once you get all the bullshit medication out of your system you’ll be able to do a hell of a lot more than what I’m even asking you. Oh and stop giving me a dirty look, nod or no I’m not dropping the hand till you hear all I have to say.”