Pain

                                    

                                          
11:36 p.m. is what read on my phone. I was just walking back to the house when I noticed that Katrina's car was sitting in our driveway. I felt my hope on talking to Sam drain from my body as I realized that Katrina would be staying with us for a month. All I want to do is to talk to Sam but my chances on talking to him is like nonexistent. 
"Maybe Sam will talk to me."  Sighing I opened the front door, stepping in to brightly lit house. There, sitting on the couch was Sam and Katrina, cuddling each other like there is no tomorrow. Anger, hurt and jealousy burned at Colby.
"Why would you think that Sam would talk to you? God you're such a idiot." I looked at Sam for another moment before I turned on my heel heading upstairs, straight for my room. 
"You really think Sam cares about you? You are such a fag. How could he like you?" 
"UGH!" I shouted as I closed my door and flopped onto my bed. I didn't even realize I shouted so loud that Sam had come up to see if I was okay.
"Colby, are you okay?" The blonde man had opened Colby's door wide enough for him to step in. Sam was looking at Colby with concern.
"I'm fine. Why would you care anyways?" I rolled over on my bed to look at my ceiling. I could tell Sam stiffened at my rather harsh comment to him.
"Um because you're my best friend, Colby and I care about you." I snorted at Sam. "That's bullshit Sam, you don't care about me. Nobody cares about me."
"Colby, seriously. Are you okay?" Sam had moved a little closer to me. I sat up, staring at Sam with a dead stare.
                          
"You don't care for me Sam. You never did and don't you dare say you care because that's a lie. If you really cared for me like you say, you would've noticed I'm not okay. What would you know anyways? You're always with Katrina, obviously not caring about me! " 
                          
I spat at Sam, hissing my words at him. Sam's eyes widened at me for my sudden harsh words.
                          
"I care about you a lot Colby! Maybe if you weren't with Brennen so much you would see that. Obviously you just all the attention. It's all about you Colby, isn't it?! Have you ever thought how I felt? You are honestly the most selfish person I met." Sam shot back, his anger getting the best to him.
"You shut yourself off just for attention and when we acknowledge that your not yourself, you just blame it all on us! So how dare you say it's my fault for trying to care for you! I'm so sick of you trying to get all the attention. I tried to care for you and talk to you but you just pushed it away like always. So good luck on trying to get anything out of me because I don't care about you Colby. That's right, I don't care about you!" 
                          
"Get out of my room Sam. Just please leave me alone. I hate you. I whispered.
Sam glared at me before turning around and walking out my door, running down the stairs to Katrina.
                          
"Sam, what's wrong baby?!" 
"Oh you know, the usual. Colby being a complete horrible person again."
                          
"I don't care about you!" Kept ringing in Colby's ears over and over again. Tears welling in in my eyes, I went searching for something I haven't searched in for years. I couldn't think. All my thoughts raced to Sam saying I was just a horrible, selfish person.
"You know he isn't wrong right? You are a horrible person Colby." My own thoughts getting to me. 
"Sam will definitely not love you the way you love him, retard."
"Shut up!" I growled at myself. Finding that my hand had drifted over a small bag tucked away, hiding the blade I hid from the world. I stared at it for awhile before I ripped open the bag and I did something I wouldn't regret. In fact I would find useful for some time being.