30: Magic words

                                    

                                          
I had enough of their jokes at the gym so I left them. Sadly, even though I wanted to take a walk outside alone, they followed me right out the gym door and I couldn't. 
                          
"My moms are probably asleep now so we should be a little quiet." Trevor says while we stand in the middle of the hall. They must be early risers since it's just a couple of minutes past 9 pm. 
                          
"Why don't we go in your room and watch a movie or something?" I suggest.
                          
"Yeah." Trevor shrugs and we quietly walk up the stairs and into his room.
                          
Elliot jumps on the bed and I take a seat on the empty corner of the bed. 
                          
"I gotta pee." Trevor announces and rushes out the room. 
                          
"So Ash..." Elliot smirks and wiggles his eyebrows. Oh god...
                          
"No." 
                          
"You didn't even know what I was gonna say..." He whines.
                          
"The look was enough." 
                          
"Tell me though, should I go sleep in the living room?" He continues.
                          
"No. And don't utter a word about this when Trevor comes." Like on cue Trevor walks in.
                          
"I took out two toothbrushes for you. You can go wash up while I find you some pyjamas." Yeah, we didn't bring anything with us. We were in too much of a hurry to pack.
                          
"I'll go first." I say. "Where's the bathroom?" 
                          
"First door on the right." 
                          
When I finish I enter Trevor's room and see Elliot standing with a blanket and pillow in his arms.
                          
"I'm gonna sleep in the living room." He answers before I ask.
                          
"Elliot, I told you no. There's enough space here, I'll sleep on the floor." I try to make him stay. 
                          
"Don't worry. I'll be good on the couch." He taps my shoulder as he walks by. "Good night." 
                          
"Wait, it's still early for-" I don't finish my sentence because he's out of the room. I don't follow because I don't want to look desperate. I tried enough.
                          
"You can change. I'll turn around." Trevor awkwardly points to the clothes on the bed. Why is is so awkward? We share a room back at school, this is no different. Did Elliot say something? 
                          
"O-okay." He turns towards the window while I quickly slip on the clothes. 
                          
"You can look." I sit down on the bed.
                          
"Did Elliot say something?" I gulp and mutter out.
                          
"Uh, don't mind him. He's just joking with us." So he did. I'll kill him with the pilates ball.
                          
"I'm sorry." I feel like I should apologize. I'm the one that's making this hard for us. Trevor surely doesn't have a problem with taking our relationship a step further, but I... 
                          
"Oh my god Ash, don't apologize." Panicked, he says quickly.
                          
"No, I know I'm being a prude. Just... I'll sleep on the floor. I shouldn't make this harder than it is." God Ash, you're a fucking idiot. At this rate he'll break up with you faster than you can say 'pineapple'. 
                          
"Ash, stop doing that. Stop telling that about yourself, you're not a prude for wanting to take things slow," he sits next to me, "it's your choice as much as it is mine. And I'll respect yours. We're in no rush to do anything, I like you Ash, a lot, and if it means I get to be with you then I'll wait." 
                          
I'm speechless. "Now I feel bad for thinking like that." Did I maybe hurt him in any way by saying what I said? 
                          
"No. Listen to me, whenever you have something to tell me, don't hide it or lie to me about it. Just tell me, I'll understand. And never feel like you're pressured to anything when you're with me. Got it?" He smiles sympathetically.
                          
"Yes." I mumble. 
                          
"I didn't hear you." He's gonna make me repeat it... really?
                          
"Yes." I say loud and clear this time. He leans in and pecks my cheek. 
                          
"Trevor..." He said I should tell him when I have something on my mind. I'll tell him. I don't care what he thinks, I just want to say it.
                          
"Yeah?" 
                          
"I have something to confess..." I'm just postponing it now...
                          
"Okay...?" He looks puzzled.
                          
"Don't laugh." Just say it Ash.
                          
"I won't." 
                          
"Trevor... I love you." My eyes are closed. I'm afraid to see his face, it won't be good, he's quiet. This was too sudden and now he's in shock. I probably scared him. I said it too soon didn't I? We haven't been dating for a month and I say this. Of course he'll be shocked.
                          
"Ash." He says quietly. I gulp. "Look at me." He places a hand on my cheek to turn my head towards him. I blink my eyes open. He has a look on his face that I've never seen on him before. The corners of his lips are very slightly raised up and he's looking straight into my eyes, he's so close I can feel his breath. One of his hands are still on my cheek and he's caressing it with his thumb in feather light touches. It feels like we stay like that for hours, everything is quiet. I feel calm. 
                          
"I love you too." He whispers, but I hear it loud and clear. I involuntarily smile and he does too. 
                          
He comes closer until his lips meet mine in the most wonderful kiss. I don't know if it's because we said the three magical words but this kiss is much more special. I can feel the electric waves passing all throughout my body and I know he feels the same because he tightens his hold on me. I don't know how much time passes before we finally stop, breathless. Trevor's cheeks are burning red and I'm sure mine are too. There's nothing else to be said and we enjoy the silence as we lay on our backs before sleep slowly takes over and I close my eyes.