Silence

                                    

                                          
*3rd Person w/Junkyu's thoughts *
                          
The staff had changed their minds about letting the debuting 7 members come to final dorms and instead had made us stay in the old dorms with the rest of the trainees. They didn't say why, but about 5 days later they told the seven members that they were no free to go to their new dorms, which was where they were now. 
                          
"WOW! LOOK HOW BIG THESE ROOMS ARE!" Jaehyuk screeched as he ran into each of the rooms in their new dormitory. There was an upstairs but they'd been told not to go there. The dorms were stylish and modern, but Junkyu could've cared less.  It had only been days since Mashiho's departure.
                          
Junkyu and the other six final members now had these dorms to themselves. Maybe if Mashiho was here he would be happy. He did make it in to the final seven after all but...he just couldn't find it in himself to smile. The other members had started a short conversation in the kitchen, but Junkyu didn't feel like talking so he said good night to them. And as walked to the rooms he could feel their stares on his back. 
                          
(A/N: Play "And I'm Here" by Kim Kyung Hee for best effect; or any other melancholy song such as "I Miss You" by Soyou) 
                          
He quickly decided on the farthest room from everyone. Once he reached the room he closed the door behind him and threw himself in the bed. Thoughts about Mashiho filled his mind, making it hard for him to breathe. His breathing was labored and unsteady. Soon he felt his heart surrender to the feelings of ache and he began crying silently. He felt as though he was sticking his hands in the shards of his broken heart. Each memory brought sharp pains and cuts that left him scars. Although it had only been a short while since Mashiho had left the pain was prominent. 
                          
Mashiho was his other half. He was the reason to keep smiling. His reason to stay happy. His reason to  stay alive. 
                          
Mashiho's laugh rang in his ears like an echo. 
                          
Junkyu hugged the pillow in his arms closer to his body, hoping to stop the cold empty feeling inside him. It was useless and only increased his loneliness. He didn't want to let himself become enveloped by the pain but was there really another choice? Mashiho was like Junkyu's oxygen. 
                          
How are you supposed to live without oxygen? 
                          
Suddenly he heard a knock at his door and quickly wiped his tears. He sat up in bed, expecting to see Yedam enter but instead, it was a dejected looking Hyunsuk who walked in. 
                          
"Hey..." He mumbled as he walked over to the foot of Junkyu's bed, "is it okay if I sit here?" 
                          
Junkyu nodded, afraid that if he talked his voice would crack, and crawled over towards where Hyunsuk was. 
                          
"Listen, Junkyu...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what I did and almost did to you. I was drunk and dumb but that's no excuse for what I made you go through. I-I miss you. I miss Yedam. I miss how close we were. I love you bro and I don't want to lose you too," Hyunsuk hung his head low. At forst Junkyu stayed silent causing Hyunsuk to panic. 
                          
"I understand if you don't want that. I know o went to far and I won't beg you if you don't want to forgive me. But...I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I truly am. I had no right to use you the way I did...anways I'm sorry to disturb you...I'll leave." Hyunsuk got up from the floor and began walking towards the door. When suddenly Junkyu told him to stop.
                          
"No...don't go...I miss you too...a-and it's okay-" Junkyu started but was unable to finish. 
                          
"Junkyu, whats wrong?" 
                          
Instead of answering Junkyu began crying, unable to control his emotions. Instead of being shocked by Junkyu's response to his question, Hyunsuk walked over and sat next to him on the bed. Junkyu troes to muffle his own crying with his arm but was stopped by Hyunsuk. 
                          
"No...it's okay. You need to cry. Crying helps. Trust me...I would know." He said giving a Junkyu a sad smile. Junkyu tried smiling back but it was strained. Hyunsuk saw him struggling and wrapped his arm around the other, offering him comfort. Junkyu gave in and started crying again but this time it was harder since hw wasn't trying to hold back. 
                          
Junkyu felt Hyunsuk's arm pat his shoulder. His position was uncomfortable, and Junkyu could tell. But instead of pointing it out, Junkyu moved so that he was fully hugging the other. Hyunsuk wasn't expecting so much trust from the other especially after what he'd done to him. So he stiffened at his touch at first. 
                          
He felt unworthy of Junkyu's friendship. 
                          
Junkyu had a big heart. He'd been through too much and deserved much more love than what he received but Hyunsuk couldn't change that...all he could do was be there for him. So that's what he did. 
He hugged Junkyu back. He didn't say anything...and Junkyu seemed thankful for that. 
                          
Because sometimes...silence is better than a thousand words.
                          
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Oooooh one chapter left!!!! Woo hooo!!!! 
Anyways....I just published the first chapter of "Love" my Gonhun ff and the first chapter of "Seesaw" my Hajeongwoo story...yeah so even though I published both only one will get frequent updates and that the one that has the more reads/votes so yeah...go check 'em out and add 'em to y'alls reading list so you can stay updated ;) oh p.s. I'll update both tonight..but maybe not at the same time...and yup...see ya soon with another update;) ps plz vote if you enjoyed ;D