Noodles

                                    

                                          
*JUNKYU 1st PERSON POV*
As we enter the place I sigh, glad that there isn't anyone besides the staff here. Just me and a boy who has saved my life, for today at least, eating noodles. 
                          
To be honest...I don't know why I came back to him. When I left to go back to my room, as soon as I walked in I opened the bottle of pills and poured a hand full onto my palm. I had walked towards my bathroom and opened the water bottle...ready to end it all. No one loved me...no one cared...yet something about Mashiho made me stop. 
                          
Maybe you can find comfort in him. A voice in the back of my head had whispered. I don't know what it was but I grabbed the bottle and quickly poured the pills back in. After that i quickly ran back into my room and then ran out to the living room where a dejected Mashiho walked up the stairs with a pout on his face. 
                          
Something inside me stirred just by seeing his pout...I felt wanted for the first time in months. And when I asked where he was going and he turned, and saw me...his entire face lit up. As if he wanted to be with me. It made me...happy? I just...I don't know what to think. All I now is that I want to get to know the boy in front of me...Takata Mashiho. 
                          
"So...how long have you have you been a trainee?" 
                          
Too long...long enough to know that I'll never debut. Long enough to know I'm not good enough. Long enough to know that I'm a waste and a lost cause.
                          
I looked up at him and tried not to seem saddened by his question.I opened my mouth to answer by instead he cut me off. 
                          
"You know what? Don't worry...it doesn't matter! That was stupid of me to ask! We're out eating and trying to forget a little about stress that caused a stomach ache, we're not here to worsen it—"
                          
"Mashiho—" I tried to cut in.
                          
"No, I'm sorry for asking a question that's too personal. It's—"
                          
"Mashi!" I put my hands on his cheeks (a/n the ones on his face ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) and he stopped. Color flushed to his cheeks and he bit his lip nervously. 
                          
"It's fine," I continued lowering my hands from his face, "the answer is 6 years." He raised his eyebrows in surprise but then tried to hide it. He opened his mouth to speak but then stopped himself. 
                          
I was going to ask him the same question but I didn't want to feel lesser by his answer so instead I decided to change the topic.
                          
"Do you have any pets?" I asked and his face lit up immediately.
                          
"Yeah I have a dog named Kotesu!" Mashiho began ranting about his dog and tired seemed to fly as the we got know each other better then I'd imagined. Before we knew it almost 2 hours had passed and the owner was nagging at us to leave because he had to clean. 
                          
We apologized and left a large tip for him, then continued our conversation while walking back to the dorms. But once we reached the front door I stopped him in his tracks.
                          
"I...thank you for tonight Mashiho...I needed this more then yo unsure understand." I said giving him a small smile. He smiled back more widely showing me his blinding bunny smile.
                          
"No problem," he muttered, "if you don't mind...I think I've also been having a stomach aches and would like if you could come with me again here tomorrow to relieve them." His smile faltered for a spilt second but he regained confidence quickly. 
                          
Do I want to do this again?
                          
Yes, I do. 
                          
"Of course." I said nodding. His smile reached his eyes as he opened the door to the dorms. He began walking towards the stairs when suddenly he stopped, turned around and gave me a small wave. 
                          
"Goodnight Junkyu~ Rest well so you can continue to be as handsome as you are everyday." Then he quickly ran up the stairs without looking back, so I wouldn't be able to see his face which had begun to turn into a deep scarlet shade.
                          
I smiled slightly and walked to my room, feeling more stable then I had felt in months. 
                          
But as soon as the door closed it seemed as if someone dropped a weight on my shoulders. My insecurities and depression came running back to me and hit me hard. Thoughts telling me I wasn't good enough rang in my head and bombarded all other thoughts. 
                          
Was it going outside that took this pain away? Talking to new people? Mashiho? 
                          
As soon as I mentioned his name my mind produced a small thought...weaker then the rest, but still there. It was Mashiho's smile. Like a small light in this darkness of my world. As the memory began to fade I panicked. In my mind I tried to recall it over and over again hoping that it would make the thought stay. And sure enough it did. Small and dim...but there and I didn't want to lose it. 
                          
________
Thanks for 300  girlies 🤪🤠🤙🏻
[PLEASE READ!!!]
So I know this chapter was crusty but my brain is literally fried :p I'm so behind on hw assignments and I just took my PSAT—
It's stressful but I'm i can get through it. Anyways this is really important.
I don't want to do this but...due recent events (yg being a butt) the possibility of Mashiho debuting is small therefore I want to ask...would you like me to stop writing this book? I can and i have another story planned (it's hajeongwoo) but I was gonna write it after I finished this but now I'm unsure... please vote if you want me to keep writing or comment "❤️" if you would like me to stop~ I will not be offended in the slightest be either option. Please try and choose as soon as possible because I will make my decision tomorrow. 
If you read this thank you~