falsettos characters as things my friends have said

                                    

                                          
ik this isnt texting but still 
                          
Whizzer: I told her she looks like shes sucking dick and she got mad at me
                          
Marvin: some days I'm like wow I'm a little bitch, other days I'm like wow im still a little bitch
                          
Whizzer: I don't have enough money for food but I have enough money for cocaine
                          
Jason: *burps* thank you for coming to my ted talk
                          
Cordelia: why is the brush not working? (charlotte) because it's a comb and you're doing it backwards
                          
Mendel: *talking about a patient* her name is marry jane and she eats dog food
                          
Jason: what's love backwards? (whizzer) evil
                          
Whizzer: wow you're popping pills its only eleven
                          
Marvin: stop having a seizure god its halloween lighten up 
                          
Trina: call marvin (whizzer) okay, siri call debra
                          
Whizzer: if chef boyardee asked to eat my ass I wouldn't say no 
                          
Whizzer: its not making money off dumb people it's making money off horny people 
                          
Jason: did you just call me a cock tease cause I rick rolled you?
                          
Charlotte: I bet you googled nicholas cages feet before 
                          
Trina: dont you hate it when you're trying to make a pb&j and you slit your wrists and die 
                          
Charlotte: death smiles at us and all we can do is smile back 
                          
Mendel: hold my hand and we can do marriage
                          
Charlotte: look at us sitting around letting america happen 
                          
Whizzer: I can chug really good so I'll be fun at parties