22 Dark Plans

                                    

                                          


                          
Lola
                          
If I'm gone, Bastian will be safe.
                          
The sinister thought slithers through my consciousness. If I die, then Bastian will be free. He can pretend that he doesn't know the truth about his father and wait to take over the pack until he's ready.
                          
Bastian can't fight his father, not yet. Even though he and Alpha Ryker are training for just that reason, Bastian is only 18. Most alphas wait until they are in their mid to late twenties to take over a pack. Alpha Ryker is the exception, not the rule, and let's face it, most alphas can't stack up against Alpha Ryker Holden. The man is gigantic and built of stone.
                          
"Do you like mint green, Loles?"
                          
I smile at Mackenzie, "sure," I try to enthuse my voice with something other than flat depression, but who am I kidding? Mac always seems to know how I feel, no matter how good I am at acting.
                          
"Maybe the blue?" she asks a little more desperately.
                          
I shrug and nod, forcing my smile to stretch. It's uncomfortable. "I like the seafoam," I say.
                          
She nibbles on her lips and glances down at the magazine filled with bridesmaid dresses. She and Alpha Ryker can't get married legally until she is 18, but she will be formally introduced to the pack as their Luna. I guess anything she wants to wear is fine, it's not like Alpha Ryker's pack has many traditions. She's mostly concerned with not looking too young.
                          
"I guess that one was pretty, but a little too much with the sequins, right?" Mac nibbles on her lip.
                          
"The red," I respond. Red will go beautifully with her blond hair and light eyes.
                          
"I'm afraid that'll make me look like I'm trying too hard to be older, you know?"
                          
I glance back down at my magazines and keep leafing through them. "What about a dark blue? Not navy," I hold up the picture.
                          
"I like that," she murmurs.
                          
"We can order it for you to try on. You'll need lots of formal dresses," I remind her. I tear out the page and place it next to me on Alpha' Ryker's couch. He has two now, brand-new, arranged so that you can sit on one and have a nice conversation with someone on the other.
                          
We keep looking, both of us trying to distract ourselves from reality while our mates are a floor below us in the gym, beating the hell out of each other.
                          
It's been a rough week, that's for sure. Brutal emotionally, but quiet. No Summons, for either Bastian or myself. Alpha has been out of town, but I know he's eager to destroy my mate bond. It's unnerving that he's been so quiet. My parents are gone again, too. I'm surprised they stayed for as long as they did.
                          
I grab another magazine and let the one in my lap slide to the discard pile on the floor. "This one is risque," I show Mackenzie the red dress with strategic cut-outs.
                          
"You should get that one," Mackenzie responds with an encouraging smile, "you have the coloring to pull it off."
                          
I just turn the next page. My confession to Alpha Ryker has triggered memories that I really wish were allowed to lie. Like, when Alpha would command me to meet him at a hotel near packlands so that I could dress up in one of the former Luna's gowns. I would wear Bastian's dead mother's clothes while being paraded around to fancy restaurants and parties by Alpha. Then he would take me back to the hotel and fuck me.
                          
It only happened a handful of times, all in the last six months. I think Alpha was testing the waters, wondering if he could get away with such a bold move. Maybe he was seeing if he would get caught with a too-young mistress.