Stars fade away

                                    

                                          
Shiiiiit. I just realized that I forgot to upload chapter 8, which must have left some of you sooo confused! I am so sorry ): So yeah, I probably will have to upload all of the last chapters again. I'm so dumb sometimes.
                          
So sorry!
                          

                          
Chapter 8
                          
Stars fade away they just crash into space 
Disappear from the light like you and I
                          
~ Undone - Haley Reinhart
                          
I followed Dumbledore into his ginormous office and couldn't help but be a little awed by it still. I could only wish that, whatever my profession turned out to be, it came with an office exactly like this. The portraits of previous headmasters were hanging on the wall, giving you unwanted advice whenever they felt like it.
                          
They looked majestic and I wondered if Dumbledore would be hung aside them.
                          
The portraits aside, I've always liked the atmosphere in this room. I patted Fawkes on the head and was glad to see that the bird looked healthy enough. I once saw him combust into flames and cried for nearly an hour. It was always sad to see any creature die, but somehow his death got to me more than others. I sat down in my usual chair and looked at Dumbledore with dread. I really wasn't looking forward to this conversation.
                          
"So, how have you been, Nika?" Dumbledore asked me as he sat down in front of me, behind his large, oak desk. His eyes studied me from over his glasses and I shifted uncomfortably in my own chair.
                          
"I've been okay," I replied, studying the papers on his desk with much more interest than they probably deserved.
                          
Dumbledore didn't even make a move to hide them from sight or to take them away. "I've heard a lot about you this past week."
                          
I licked my lips. "Oh."
                          
"Yes. It seems that you have befriended the young Mr. Black?"
                          
I pursed my lips. I didn't want to talk about Sirius.
                          
"Let me ask you something, Nika." I felt my heart sink and pool somewhere around my toes. This really didn't sound good, now did it? "Do you remember what Dr. Greene told you last year?"
                          
I mumbled an affirmative. Dr. Greene was my psychiatrist, assigned to me by St. Mungo's. You could say that we had some sort of history, considering that Dr. Greene had been with me ever since my parents died when I was eleven.
                          
"Would you be so kind to remind me of what it was? Old men and their memories, you know how it is," Dumbledore said with a smile and a nonchalant shrug that I wasn't buying at all. Old men and their memories, right.
                          
I cleared my throat. "Greene said that it wasn't healthy for me to seek out others I think are like me. I should be my own person and deal with my history in my own way and preferably by myself. It is not that I am not allowed to make friends or talk about it with said friends, but at the end of the day it is me who has to be able to deal with my own demons."
                          
Dumbledore gave me another one of his kind looks. "You certainly know the speech by heart. Would you care to tell me then why you have sought out Mr. Black's company?"
                          
I hesitated. "I didn't seek out his company, professor. Sirius came to me."
                          
Dumbledore waited for a moment and gave a faint nod. "Humour me."
                          
I mulled over the question. Why did I seek out Sirius' attention? Why did I talk to him when I could be talking to any other person? Was it because I felt sorry for him now that he was in a fight with his friends? Was it because of my silly crush that I hoped nobody knew about? Was it because, maybe, I thought that Sirius was like me? An orphan in his own way?