24

                                    

                                          
Awsten's eyes tore open and before he could even take in the scene around him, he was pulling the covers over him in fear and letting out a loud painful sob. His heart felt like it was about to rip out of his chest and he could taste blood from where he had split his lip in his sleep. His head was spinning as he came back down to reality but failed to separate what was real and what was only in the dream.
His nightmares were almost always the same. A distant memory of Luke repeating itself with minor details changed, they terrified him but he had grown accustomed to them. When he woke up he was usually easy to calm. However, he wasn't used to having those dreams with major details differing. He wasn't used to Geoff being in Luke's place.
Awsten was shaking badly and he heard movement beside him, only furthering his anxiety. He wanted out. He didn't know what exactly he meant by that, but he wanted out.
"Aws?" Geoff whispered, his hand trailing the blanket which was slightly damp. But that was the least of his worries right now. "Did you have a bad dream, baby?" 
He didn't get a response and went to remove the covers from Awsten only to receive a loud scream of protest in response. He jumped back at the sound and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes quickly. He knew the dream must have been bad for Awsten to be acting like this, so he tried to think of what else to do.
"Awsten," he whispered calmly. "Come on, please talk to me. I can't help you if you don't let me."
After a few moments of silence he tried pulling the blanket away again, only for Awsten to jump up and run to the bathroom. Geoff sighed, hearing the door slam shut and the lock click. He was too tired for this. 
He got up and trudged to the door, knocking lightly and asking, "Can you please open the door, tiny?" 
He frowned when all he got in response was a loud sob. He could tell Awsten was sat against the door and he sat down too and leaned against it. 
"Please Awsten, I don't know what to do," Geoff pleaded. "What was your nightmare about? Do you wanna talk about it?" 
"Y-You," Awsten whimpered quietly, anxiety ripping through his stomach at the confession and he wasn't sure whether he wanted Geoff to pull him close and tell him that everything was okay or leave him the fuck alone for the rest of the night. 
"Me?" Geoff questioned. When he didn't get a response he continued, "What happened?"
He heard the lock click and the door slowly cracked open behind him, a scared looking Awsten staring back at him. He slowly pushed the door open all the way and looked up at Geoff, letting out a small whimper and looking at him expectantly. 
Geoff held out his arms and sighed contently when Awsten scooted into his lap. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boys waist and pulled him closer, a hand resting on his stomach and rubbing circles into it comfortingly. "Are you okay?" Geoff asked quietly. 
Awsten shook his head, burying his face in Geoff's shoulder and letting out a heart wrenching sob. Geoff didn't say anything, just rubbing his back and pressing kisses to the top of his head occasionally. 
After a few minutes, Awsten had calmed down some and was shifting uncomfortably on Geoff's lap. He let out a sniffle and looked up at his boyfriend silently, giving him a pleading look and whimpering softly.
"Do you wanna go ahead and get a bath?" Geoff asked. Awsten had fallen asleep in jeans and Geoff had forgotten to put on a diaper before bed, an easy mistake when he wasn't in headspace. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world and Geoff could tell, so he decided it'd be better to get that over with before Awsten got tired again. Awsten nodded, sniffling and clinging to Geoff as he stood up. "With or without daddy?" Geoff asked. 
"With," Awsten mumbled against his chest. Geoff nodded and walked into the bathroom, setting him down on the counter and starting the bath. He undressed Awsten slowly, taking the time to reassure him that everything was okay before he took off his boxers. Even with how long they had been together, Awsten still got paranoid during times like this and Geoff had learned how to work around it. 
Once he was done with Awsten he took off his own clothes, tossing them aside and turning back to the smaller boy. He set him in the tub and stepped in after him, pulling Awsten onto his lap again and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"What was your dream about, bub?" Geoff asked. Awsten sniffled and pressed his face into Geoff's chest, still shaking slightly. 
"'s 'bout you," Awsten slurred, his voice shaky and frail. "You h-hurt." 
"Did I hurt you?" Geoff asked, rubbing Awsten's bare back gently. He could tell the younger boy was still shaken and it was gonna take him a while to go back to sleep. They had had nights like this before, it was never easy and sometimes Geoff would get frustrated but he knew it wasn't Awsten's fault. He knew what he was getting himself into when he began dating him so he found no reason to complain about it now. Especially when Awsten had it so much worse. 
Awsten nodded. "Bad," he mumbled. Geoff could tell he wasn't wanting to go into too much detail about it so he didn't pry. 
"I would never do that to you babyboy, you know that right?" Geoff cooed.
Awsten hesitantly nodded, sniffling and clinging to his boyfriend tighter. He was paranoid sometimes and Geoff could be awful sometimes, but he knew it would never get as bad as it did with Luke. He wouldn't let that happen again.
"I know I can be..." Geoff trailed off. "I know I can be angry, and mean, and really fucking rude sometimes. I'm an asshole. And I've done horrible things, to you, and others. I know. I hate that part of myself so fucking much. But I'm gonna get better. I'm getting better. I wish I could change what I did to you that night and I can't, but I can promise you it's never gonna happen again. I'll literally kill myself before I let that happen."
Awsten didn't say anything in response but he believed him. Maybe he was too forgiving and trusted people too easily, but he didn't care. He just wanted to move on from everything that happened and be happy with Geoff. And he did.