Book Three Chapter Sixty-Four

                                    

                                          


                          
           
                          
getting in, the girls were bathed and in their pajama's waiting for me. Cuddling them, I took them to bed, reading them a story until they fell asleep, walking out their room, 
                          
Jackson stood there, not saying anything, just looking at me, his eyes assessing me. I want him, I don't want him to touch me, but I want to feel something, walking past him, I walk towards to playroom, stood in there, I begin to take my clothes off, stripping down, kneeling waiting for him. 
                          
"Not happening Alena, this is something you can't cover up with whips and chains, no matter how much you try" 
                          
He was not fooled, not at all, but I was not trying to cover up my feelings. 
                          
"I am not trying to cover it up, I know I will need to talk, but this helps, it somehow makes it easier to talk about what happened, I don't want sex, I don't want you to tie me down for hours, I just want some sort of pain, just a small amount" 
                          
"I don't know Alena, I don't want to do it and make things worse" His hand rested on my shoulder. 
                          
"I promise, if it has a bad effect I will tell you to stop, straight away, I am not stupid, if it makes me feel worse I will stop it" 
                          
"Okay Kitten" 
                          
His hand grasped my wrists, lifting me up, waiting for his kiss, it never came, I was grateful, my arms were shackled above my head, he grabbed the flogger.
                          
walking around the back of me, standing waiting my heart a steady pace for once, the sting of the flogger hitting my ass making me push onto my toes, waiting for the second one, my heart rate settled, the sound of it swinging was the first indictor that it was coming, the sting even worse.
                          
my moan muffled, counting in my head, one, two three, another sharp sting I screamed,  four, five, six, the flogger hit, this time more pain, screaming, I can feel my body relax, for the first time since yesterday. 
                          
Waiting the flogger swung again, hitting my ass, screaming, pulling against the restraints he swung it again instantly, my screams even louder. 
                          
My body relaxed, his arms wrapping around me, lifting my up, my legs wrapping around his body, as he unclipped me from the hook, carrying me to our bedroom, he laid me down on the bed, my eyes soaked from tears, grateful he agreed to do it, because had he not, I would still be the same state I was earlier. 
                          
"Right, now you talk please" He looked at me waiting. 
                          
"I don't know what to say, the thought of been touched by anyone, my body tenses up, that was the first time since yesterday I relaxed, the first time I felt free from everything, I know I need to talk about it, but physically saying something is not easy" 
                          
He didn't move, he stayed where he was. 
                          
"And now? How do you feel?" Wrapping my arms around him, I smiled. 
                          
"Does that answer your question?" He looked at me, shaking his head. 
                          
"No, because that is you touching me, not someone touching you" 
                          
His arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer and tighter to him, my body still relaxed, my head resting on his chest, silent cries escaping my mind, as I took in his comfort.   
                          
"This does, but please next time, just say" Laughing I look up at him. 
                          
"Next time? You think it is going to happen again?" 
                          
"Alena, you and trouble come hand in hand, no doubt your life will be a warzone, no matter what you do, your life is a warzone, there is no hiding it, sleep, you have work tomorrow"