Book Three Chapter Fifty-One

                                    

                                          
           
                          
"Right, come on get sat, let me explain" He sat down. 
                          
"You got ill, really ill, your mum took you to the hospital, I had been away working that week.  When your mum called, I came straight home to you" 
                          
My mum?  He said she left when I was born, how was she there when it happened? I best not interrupt with questions yet, he was struggling as it is to talk about it.   
                          
"The hospital ran tests, they found traces of a substance in your blood stream, they questioned your mum as she was the only one with you" 
                          
My mum did it?  What was he talking about, he never even mentioned her bothering with me, let alone him leaving me with her. 
                          
"Turns out she had someone else there, a man while I was gone, both pleaded innocent, After more tests and trails, it turned out you was with both of them when it happened, so while your mum may not have done it she knew, she left it hours before getting you medical help" 
                          
Wow, there goes my childhood that I knew, my mum possibly poisoned me, the thought is scary, what mum would do that to her child? 
                          
"So, what happened?  Did they prove it was her?  You said she left when I was born, was that when she walked away?" 
                          
I feel like a lot of my childhood was a lie, yes it was to protect me but still a lie. 
                          
"No, she didn't walk away, the courts made her they deemed her unfit to have you, they stopped all her visitation, they both had to do a prison sentence but it was only a few months, after getting out they left together, I have heard nothing or seen nothing since the trial" 
                          
Part of me wants to find her, I always wanted to know about her and if she was made to leave, maybe she did want me after all? 
                          
Yet at the same time, I feel selfish, evil for considering it and stupid considering she could have been the one who poisoned me. 
                          
"Here, I brought you some pictures, I know I lied, and it wasn't to be evil, I know it is hurting you now though and maybe the lie should never have been told.  I should have been home that week, I should have stopped it from happening" 
                          
Why is he blaming himself?  He was not responsible for anything. 
                          
"Dad, you didn't lie, you covered up the truth to protect me, which is what I needed, it could have happened anytime, be lucky it was while you were away, because if you weren't you might not be sat here with me today" 
                          
That thought scared me, what happened if my dad had been home when it happened?  What if they decided then to take me away from him as well? 
                          
Seeing him this upset though, I don't want to find her, I don't want him to feel hurt, placing the photos on the desk I hugged him. 
                          
"Let's go get a drink, you can sit with the girls for a bit before you leave to go home" 
                          
I only need him, I have my step mum who I see more of a mum then a step mum, I can't see what finding my real mum would achieve.  Watching him sat there with the girls, I just know I can't put him through that, put him through bringing her back into his life. 
                          
Once the girls where asleep he left, Jackson was sat in the office, walking in I smiled, a bit of normal is just what I need.  Sliding onto the desk, my feet either side of him on the chair, my arms pulling him to me.   
                          
"Take them off kitten" 
                          
His finger rubbed between my legs, sliding back off the table I removed my knickers, before climbing back on, his lips kissing down my neck, his fingers opening my shirt, as his mouth continued to tease down my breasts.