be alright

                                    

                                          
I recommend on listening to this song before reading (: 
She's acting weird lately, like I've said something wrong,
Like I've took her heart and broke it with my bare hands.
I didn't, I don't think I did. 
We just had a fight. 
not a fight ,a discussion, 
I want to go public, she doesn't.
we've talked about this before, we said we will go public some day, but she said that two years ago and nothing happened.
we can't hide forever can we? 
Suddenly I heard a buzz that cut my thoughts, it was a phone call. From her.
"Hey Tom can you come over so we could talk?" 
"Yeah I guess, I'll be there in five."
"Okay, bye Tom"
"Bye Zendaya" 
I took a coat my keys, and left. 
"You're here?" I yelled as I got in her house
"Upsairs" she answered.
I walked up slowly not knowing what will happen, I'm terrified. 
As I got into her room I looked up from the floor to see her sad and teary eyes, she looked away from me and I see there's something she tries to hide. 
So I reach for hand but it's cold, she pulls away again, and I wonder what's on her mind. 
then she opened her mouth and said to me 
"We made a dumb mistake" 
She starts to tremble and her voice begins to break. 
"Tom, i think we should break up, it's clearly not working and I think I like someone else. "
And I feel the color draining from my face. 
She doesn't say anything except for that and neither do I. I just keep looking at her knowing it's the last time. God If I knew our last kiss was our last kiss I would never pull away. 
I was hurt, I was too hurt. I had to leave, I had to do something. 
I ran away, I ran away from her house. I slammed the door behind me and drove to harrisons house knowing it's only 10 minutes drive. 
Tears poured down my eyes and made my vision blurry, I was lost In thoughts until i got to his house. I ran to the front door and knocked. The door swang open and i saw Harrison standing there, his jaw dropped as he saw me. Maybe it was because of the tears or maybe because of the pain in my eyes. "Tom what's wrong" he asked pulling me into a hug. "Zendaya broke up with me" I choked out as I pulled away from the hug and took my phone from my pocket. 
"I need to call her" I sobbed and typed her number I memorized for 30 minutes 2 years ago, but harrison stopped me. 
"I know you love her but it's over mate" he said
"It doesn't matter put the phone away" i nodded and placed it on the table. I was silent for a minute before lifting up my hands and crying into them
"It's never easy to walk away, let her go" 
He said in a comforting voice
"I don't think I can let her go" I replied wiping a tear away
"It'll be alright"  
I sighed and nodded weakly, as that I left and went to my place.
I lift up my heavy head looking at my house, it wasn't home, it was never home because she is and was my home. 
I saw one of her jackets on my sofa and chuckled although I cried at the same time. Every detail that reminded me of her made me chuckle or cry harder, I wonder why she let go. 
For the rest of the night I tried thinking about her imperfections, the things I'll never miss. But I couldn't find ones, maybe she wasn't perfect, but she was perfect for me. 
I slowly closed my eyes drifting off to sleep with a sad feeling, the feeling of missing something good. 
I woke up from the rain hitting my window, i didn't mind because I like the sound, the soft little knocks on the window. In the beginning of the morning I tried forgetting about what happened last night but I couldn't, we lost something good. There's this little feeling in me that I wish that one day I hope she'll look back at what we had, and regret every single thing she did to let it end. 
As 3 hours passed I only realized I sat and did nothing for the past two hours, so I decided I should go out while it's still raining. 
I love the rain. The sound of it how it smells and the way if feels when it touches your skin. Maybe I like the rain because of those reasons or maybe I like the rain because you can lie about crying. Maybe it's both. 
As the cold weather hit my face I took of my jacket and let the rain touch my skin, I liked it. I liked the feeling. I kept walking heading to nowhere.
My walking turned into fast walking which eventually led to running, I kept running and running as the rain washed my feelings away.  I speeded up as suddenly I fell down on the ground because of bumping into someone. "I'm so sorry-" a familiar voice said, I took the hand the voice offered and soon realized why it was familiar, it was zendaya. Zendaya. 
"Tom oh I'm sorry about yesterday" she stuttered and avoided eye contact. 
"I know" I answered looking at my bare arms 
"It was a mistake letting you go" 
My head lift up sharply as I heard those 7 words. 
"Yeah?" I asked sadly getting closer
"Yeah" she replied. 
"No reason is good enough for breaking up with you. I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life but I really am sorry" she said and a small smile danced on my lips
"Maybe we should talk" I offered 
"Yes we should" she said with a chuckle.
At that moment I realized.
A person who truly loves you will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is.