Chapter 3: The Ice-Breaker

                                    

                                          
The next few days at school go by even more uneventful than the first day of school. Nothing interesting happens in any of my classes, nothing interesting happens with any of my friends, although I am kinda starting to think that something is happening between Sam and Kyle, and of course nothing interesting happens with my family.
                          
Thankfully, today is Friday, which means one week of senior year is officially over, leaving 35 more weeks to go. As I walk into Self and Identity I notice something very different in the class, all of the desks and chairs are pushed up against the walls, leaving a big empty space right in the middle of the room.
                          
"This is odd," I say to Justin as I walk up to him.
                          
"You got that right but, honestly what isn't odd about this class," he chuckles while elbowing me. The small gesture caused my heart pound a little in my chest and made my palms start to sweat.
                          
Before I could respond Mrs. Gould starts talking, "Hi class! Every one pair up with your project partner and take a seat on the floor facing each other, we will start class once everyone is situated." It takes a few minutes for everyone to arrive in class, find their partners and a take a seat on the floor so, by the time Mrs. Gould is ready to start the lesson mostly everyone is in deep conversation.
                          
"Everyone ready for today's lesson?" she says loudly, causing the class to fall silent, "good. Today we are going to play a little game called 20 questions but with only 3 questions, and in this version you have to answer at the same time as your partner and you will only have 3 seconds to answer. Oh, and I will be asking the questions to everyone. Once we are done with the three questions you will be discussing them with each other. Do you all understand?" The class all grumbles a yes and Mrs. Gould smiles at us, "the first question, which you will answer after I count to three, is What are you most afraid of? 1...2...3!" The class gets loud as everyone answers.
                          
"Commitment." I say, unable to look Justin in the eyes.
                          
"Death." he says at the same time.
                          
"Second question: Where is your happy place? 1...2...3!"
                          
"Pauls diner."
                          
"Pauls diner." I give him a confused look, I have never known anyone who would also say a diner is their happy place.
                          
"Last question: Who is your favorite person? 1...2...3!"
                          
"My mom," he says, cheeks turning a deep shade of pink.
                          
"Sam."
                          
"Now you all need to discuss your answers with each other, starting with the first question," Mrs. Gould says with a bright smile.
                          
"So you are afraid of something that is inevitable?" I ask him.
                          
"Well at least it's better than being afraid of a social construct," he replies with a laugh before continuing, "dying is completely inevitable and yet it is the one thing we do not know anything about. Knowing nothing about something that is bound to happen at some point or another is absolutely terrifying. I mean think about it, when you die there is a large possibility that it will just be a black nothing but, also just as big of a possibility that we could go to heaven or be reincarnated or some shit like that. Commitment is something that only seems scary because of how society holds it as a standard, commitment without a human definition slapped on it is not how commitment always is. Only like 5% of animals mate for life and yet more animal populations are committed to herds or groups but, it is just in a different way than we human define commitment."
                          
"Ok, first of all, I think you just made me fear death a little and second of all why in the hell do you know that only 5% of animals mate for life?" I choke out while trying not to laugh too loudly.
                          
He shrugs before talking, "I dunno, I just do. By the way, I didn't know anyone else loved Pauls as much as me."
                          
"Same, it the only place in this town that doesn't seem totally corrupted by assholes all the time. I like that your mom is your favorite person, wish mine could be that for me, but work takes president over her only daughter."
                          
"I'm sorry Blythe," Justin says while placing his hand on my knee and giving it a gentle squeeze.
                          
"Getting closer to being in her pants, aren't you Justin," Mason's asshole friend whispers to us, clearly noticing Justin's small gesture, "You know, from what Mason tells me, the fastest way into her pants is acting like a douche."
                          
"Shut up." Justin snarls, clearly shocking both me and the douche.
                          
"What's your name again?" I say calmly, to the douche.
                          
"Petter. What you can't remember every guy's name you have slept with?"
                          
"Well Petter, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that I clearly damaged your masculinity when you tried to force yourself on me last year and I kicked you so hard in the balls that I physically heard your voice change five octaves higher but, you can't try to fix it by saying you have been in my pants. No one will believe that sweetheart. And Justin doesn't need your advice on how to get me to fuck him because he would have a much easier time than you had." I look at Justin, who is clearly embarrassed by my crude words, igniting a fire within me, "I always find myself so turned on by the nice guys and unfortunately for your Petter, you will never be the nice guy." And before either of them can respond to my words, I stand up and leave the class, hearing both a call from Justin and from Mrs. Gould clearly not happy with my early departure.
                          
I have taken much pride in myself for being the strong, emotionless girl that many others could not be but, today I feel that wavering. I don't feel strong or emotionless, I feel vulnerable and I hate it so much. Mrs. Gould's questions have forcefully made me let someone else into my private life and then I cause a scene in front of the entire class, which would cause rumors, no doubt being started by the asshat Petter.
                          
I didn't make it far from the class, maybe only 3 or 4 rooms down, when I feel a light touch on my elbow, "Blythe where are you going?" he says calmly, as I turn to find him much closer than I anticipated.
                          
My breath gets caught in my throat and I have no idea why, I don't like-like guys, everything is strictly causal with them, "Dunno, gunna go for a drive," I reply, before the next terrible words come out of my mouth, "Wanna come?"
                          
I knew he was going to say no because he's a good kid and doesn't ditch school. And it would not be good if he came, my emotions are already not in the right spot and I'm thinking weird things. It would be a disaster but, he won't ditch.
                          
"Sure, why not?" A small smile is plastered on his face. Fuck my life, this can not be good.