There's a knock at the door, both Michael and I looking up from the laptop to the opening door, "Can you two not be so loud next time?"

"Oh my god, you were here?" I gasp, hiding my face in Michael's chest.

Ashton laughs, "Yeah. I ended up not going out. But fuck, it got bad, I went out and grabbed some food on my own."

"I'm so sorry." I quietly mumble.

"I mean, like, really? You two have done stuff here many times before but today was way-"

"Okay, Ashton! Enough!" I interrupt, completely embarrassed. Michael quietly laughs, wrapping his arms around me comfortingly.

"You two must be hungry. Here." Ashton says, tossing a brown paper fast food bag to us in bed.

Michael excitedly lunges forward and grabs the bag from the foot of my bed. He smiles as he pulls out the burgers Ashton bought for us.

"Be quieter next time!" Ashton calls, closing the door behind him as he walks out.

"He's fucking annoying, but I'm starving, I love him for this burger." Michael mutters, his mouth full.

I chuckle, smacking him gently as I grab the other burger for myself, "I love him for the burgers too."

"But, I love you more." He laughs, resting his head on my shoulder for a few moments before beginning to eat again.

I giggle, "I love you too, bub."

-

"Kiana, I need to talk." I tell her, my phone pressed tightly to my ear. Finally being alone, it sent me into a panic since I couldn't stop overthinking.

"Yeah? What's up?" She asks.

"I know we just started talking more often just recently, but you're the only person I can talk to about this. I can't go to anybody else."

"What's going on, Kels?" She questions, clearly just wanting me to tell her.

"So, uh, god, how do I say this? Uh, Michael and I just had sex for the first time-"

She gasps, "Was it amazing?"

"I mean, yeah, but that's not why I need to have this conversation right now."

"Oh? Why? Was it actually bad? Did he not know what he was doing? Was he-"

"Kiana! It- it was me. I did something horrible." I mumble.

"Did he tell you that?"

"No... I- I just- Michael doesn't know-"

"Get on with it, Kels!"

"The whole time I was thinking about Luke!" I blurt, pulling my covers over my head as I curl up as if this was physically hurting me.

After saying it, I felt like this worst person on the planet. It was shitty of me that Michael and I finally did this, and all I could think of was my ex.

She shrieks, "What?"

"I- I don't know why this happened and I don't know if it's because everybody keeps bringing him up and I don't know what's wrong with me it just happened and I'm such a bad girlfriend-"

"You're rambling!" She yells, trying to stop me, but doesn't succeed.

"-I really don't know how to deal with this situation and I would talk to Ashton, but he would literally kill me for this and I really do love Michael-"

"Kelsey Anderson, stop your rambling right now!" She screams, startling me into silence, "I need you to calm down so we can talk about this."

"I think it's just a one time thing, right? That makes sense, right?" I question, still unable to stop talking.

"Kels, honestly, you just need to fuck him again." She replies.

"Kiana!"

"What? I'm serious. It's the only way to know if it'll happen again. But I don't think it will. You and Luke broke up a long time ago. I think you're just scared of what's going on with you and Michael and it's just sending you back to Luke. You're okay, Kels. You don't need to panic."

I take a deep breath, nodding even though she can't see me, "Okay. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I get that. Yeah."

"Please don't stress about this. I'm sure it'll never happen again. You and Michael have done other stuff and you haven't thought about Luke, right?"

"Yeah. I've been fine every other time we've gotten close to this. But then it happened, and I only thought of Luke."

She sighs, "You're definitely just stressed or something. It's probably just because everybody has been talking about him so much. You're okay, Kelsey."

"Okay. Yeah. Thanks for letting me rant about this. I really needed to let it out." I tell her, a sigh passing my lips.

"Of course. Were friends, Kels. I'm glad you'll come to me with these things. But, I do have to get going, Harrison and I are about to meet with a wedding planner. I'll talk to you later!"

We end the phone call, and I groan as I toss my phone to the other side of my bed. Staying curled up in bed, I quickly fall asleep.

_______________________

hi. pls keep reading. maybe vote and comment??? thanks y'all are my faves. I've been writing a lot for this book. I'm starting to think it's gonna get too dramatic but also I don't want to change it.

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