Doctors appt.

                                    

                                          
Things have been really good at work it's Friday today and I don't go in till 11:30 so I'm glad I got to sleep in I cuddle with josh or at least try too he's been a lot more clingy.
                          
Coming back on Monday he wasn't too happy that I came back late and asked where I was but I had no reason to lie and I told him I was with Seth.
                          
All he had said was "oh"
                          
Oh? just oh that's all he has to say about that what the I thought he was going to get mad yell have an argument but no he walked in his room and laid in bed and I put Jayden to bed and that was the night. Weird right?
                          
" Hey babe we never talked about the college?" I smiled while poking his abs.
                          
" Eh it was ok just not sure what I want to do with my life yet."
                          
"You have time to figure all of that out." 
                          
" Why don't you want me to be near you?" he looked hurt.
                          
I took a deep breath I needed to tell him.
                          
" Because my boyfriend I had while pregnant with jayden was with me throughout the whole pregnancy he not once mentioned college or anything and I came home from dropping Jayden off and I checked his computer and he was going to attend a college an hour away from here without even mentioning to me and that upset me "
                          
"one because he didn't tell me but the other reason was that he knew and I knew even Seth knew he was being held down because of me he wasn't going to have a normal life because of me because I had a son and it was late for me but not for him I just don't want to hold you down I want you to enjoy your life your still young and have everything right in front of you."
                          
I sighed 
                          
" But I want to be near you I understand that but I can't handle being far from you I think I'm in lo-" 
                          
He was cut off by my phone.
                          
" Hold on babe it's the doctor."
                          
I walked over and answered
                          
" This is autumn yes how about 2:30 ok thank you see you then " 
                          
I hung up.
                          
" Doctor? for what are you ok?"
                          
" It's for Seth I had to make an appointment for him I'm also going with him to by the way."
                          
" Oh ok" he sat up no not this again I hated this
                          
" Remember I told you he had an accident well lately he's been forgetting a lot of things and has really bad headaches and were scared so we wanted it to be checked on and that's why I've been going over a lot because I get nervous when he has Jayden."
                          
I tried not to cry because this wouldn't of happened if it wasn't for me. It was all my fault that he's this way.
                          
Josh pulled me in as I cried in his arms.
                          
" This is all my fault josh I did this if I hadn't yelled at him this would of never happened if he's gone Jayden will hate me I'll hate me his parents will hate me."
                          
" It's ok sweetheart it's not you fault ok things happen as I understand as long as I get a date night with you I'm fine." he smiled 
                          
" Alright thank you so much josh" I hugged him
                          
" I gotta go help Isabelle she wants me to try on a suit for the wedding."
                          
" When is that?"
                          
" In a couple weeks " he smiled I knew he was excited to see his sister walk down the aisle I missed her a ton I never mentioned the talk I had with her to josh or Clara he was going to walk her down the aisle and I was happy for him.