thirty-three

                                    

                                          
A quick recap on what's happened lately:
                          
Sady can't remember a lot of things. 
                          
Bradley caused the accident, but he keeps telling Sady "I don't know who caused it"
                          
Sady's brother has had cancer for almost a year but has never told her.
                          
Bradley, Connor, and Daliah know about Sady's brother's cancer, but made a deal not to tell Sady. 
                          
Bradley ended things with Veronica to be with Sady and told her about how his mother died.
                          
Daliah's been seeing Sady's brother every week to check on him.
                          
thirty-three
                          
"What show is this?" Daliah asks as The Real Houswives of something blares from the television. Normally, I would be paying attention to the show but I've been a bit sidetracked lately thinking about more important things.
                          
"I don't know." I answer her half-heartedly.
                          
Exactly a week ago Bradley told me his worst secret, opened up to me, and we fell asleep together. 
                          
Then the following morning he got up, and promised to see me soon. But it has been a week since he said that and he still hasn't called or visited. 
                          
But what have I been doing with myself this past week? Sleeping, eating, checking my phone all of the time, pissing off Daliah with my mood. I pissed Daliah off easily because my mood was (and still is) absolutely annoying. I can admit this to myself because I know what Bradley does to me. I know all of the ways that he can influence my heart, and this is just one.
                          
Am I making sense? Of course not.
                          
I even tried calling Connor (who I haven't spoken to in a while) with Daliah's phone asking about Bradley's whereabouts. But all I got was a, "He's been really busy this week."
                          
"He's been really busy this week." Meaning he's been too busy for me this week. Or maybe he has just generally been busy with his fans, career, and band. 
                          
Sometimes I hate myself because I tend to overthink everything.
                          
" ──and so she did that and- Sady! Did you even hear anything I just said?!" Daliah suddenly exclaims, bringing me from my train of thoughts. 
                          
"Uh no, sorry." I give Daliah a sheepish look, because I actually am sorry for being an annoyance.
                          
"Okay, Sae. I know you. And I know that when you're like this he did something. So just tell me." Daliah says, clearly.
                          
"Okay," I take a breath. "Well a week ago Bradley and I had a fight, and I found out about something, and then he came and told me everything that I wanted to know about him, and about other things. And then he left in the morning and hasn't contacted me ever since." I take a breath after that explanation. 
                          
I carefully avoided telling her everything that Bradley told me because I think the story about how he lost his mother was for my ears only.
                          
"Oh." She says, looking at me pitifully. "That's why." She murmurs under her breath. "So um, you know now." She coughs discreetly. 
                          
I know? I know what?
                          
"I know what?" I say, not even trying to mask my confusion. 
                          
"You know that Bradley caused the accident." She says in a 'duh' tone.
                          
What?
                          
"W-what?" I ask her, trying to make sure I heard her correctly. I can already feel the tears brimming my eyes. I cry too much, but how can't I when I have someone like Bradley in my life, constantly lying and changing the things he says?