Dear Li

                                    

                                          
Dear Li,
I just got back from my two week mini-tour. I found your last letter on the floor, and I had to start my reply before I go to sleep, no matter how exhausted I am. I did make the effort of taking a shower first, for your information, I wouldn't want to send my awful tourbus-smell your way.
Anyway, I didn't know it was the anniversary of David's death Liam. I hope you managed to make it through the day and the weekend. It's good that you can rely on Kendra to take the kids out of your hands every now and then, it's only normal that you need time to process your loss by yourself. But don't fool yourself Liam. If your kids are even half as smart as their dad, they know you are still sad, and it's perfectly fine to show them. Maybe I'm way out of line by telling you this, but wouldn't you want to be more on speaking terms with your children about your loss than you were with your dad? I don't mean to offend you by this, and after all I don't know a thing about the relationship you have with your kids, but it was just a thought when I read you didn't want them to see you like this. Although I do think it's good to protect them from some things. I'll just shut up about it now because I can't seem to get it down like I want it to and the last thing I want to do is upset you even more.
Send my love to your dad Liam, I always appreciated him very much. I know he had his own ways of supporting our relationship, even if he wasn't as explicit in it compared to my parents, but we both know my mother has a tendency to go over the top in things like that, don't we? Oh, and please tell your dad I'm sorry I never said goodbye to him. I always felt that was one of the worst things about our very sudden break up. I think my mother was as heart broken about it as I was at the time. I even caught her crying at the kitchen table over our break up once, can you believe it? 
I told her about our letters and passed on your message the other day when I called her, and she wanted me to tell you that you'll always be welcome with her, and the same thing goes for your children. So, to answer your question, my parents are doing perfectly fine. They moved out of our old house a couple of years ago, and are now living in the country side, where my mother grew up, but they haven't changed one bit. Except that my mother actually stopped dyeing her hair, around the same time I started it. Have I told you about Gemma already? She's still married to Glen, not that anyone doubted that they were meant for eternity, and they actually have the two sweetest kids you can imagine. I'm the godfather of their eldest, Ethan, but I can't keep myself from spoiling his sister Louise just as much. I'm glad at least Gemma gave my mother the grandchildren she wanted so badly. My dad never was one to care about those things, as long as the two of us are happy, but my mother never left any doubt about how much she wanted us to have kids. Gladly she was smart enough not to pressure Emily and me about having kids though, she and Emily never got along very well in the first place. 
About me being in the spotlights, you do remember correctly. I hate being the center of attention, I still do. The only reason why I manage to keep it up is because I have very strict rules about what the press can and can't do, and I'm lucky to have a management that makes it happen. You noticed correctly I don't let anything out about my private life, the only thing that makes being in the spotlights something I can handle is the fact that I can hide behind my guitar and my songs. Although even that gives away more than I really want so, sometimes. 
Of course I remember that day at your mother's grave Liam, it meant as much to me as it meant to you. I always enjoyed going to see her with you, even though that sounds a bit weird when you're talking about a graveyard, but it was always so quiet and peaceful there, as if the world outside just didn't exist. I know you felt the same about the place, so I'm happy for you that it's where David's buried too. 
How is Jude doing now? The good thing about high school romances is that the heartbreak usually doesn't last very long, although I'm hardly one to speak since we too met in high school. I can imagine it's hard for you to see her like that, I felt horrible when Gemma told me about Ethan's first heartbreak a couple of years ago, and he's not even my own kid, and I only heard about it and didn't have to witness it myself. I'm sure Jude missed David as much as you did at that time, but I'm also sure you did a good job at comforting her. 
I fell asleep on top of my paper yesterday, only to wake up in the middle of the night with a crooked neck, realising I really needed sleep first.
Ethan and Louise just came by this morning, I can't believe Ethan is old enough for him to drive a car by now. They brought me my belated birthday present, as they wanted to wait until I was going to be at home for a longer time before I got it. It's the cutest black kitten you've ever seen. I called it Batman, only fair if you know my other cat is called Robin, isn't it? They're already cuddling on my bedroom floor as we speak. Or rather, as I write. The cats, I mean, not the kids.
Did you manage to go through the rest of David's clothes when you found his letter? I can imagine I wouldn't be able to. Even though it seems pretty impossible now, I'm certain that you will find a way to move on, someday. If not for yourself or for David, then be it for your children. I can read in every line you write about them that they are very dear to you Liam, and I know they'll pull you through somehow. If only you'd let them. 
I'd love to meet them someday, maybe. But let's start off with the concert in a few weeks, shall we? I'll include your ticket with this letter, and I really look forward to seeing you again. I'll be on the lookout to spot you in the audience. I actually love playing in that club, I don't know if you've ever been there, but it's rather small and it has a very cosy feel to it. It allows interaction with the audience, and I love that. Even though if that means I have to stop hiding behind the songs sometimes.
I'll leave you my phone number too, just so you can text me when anything comes up, or when you decide not to show. I won't hold it against you in any way, but I'd appreciate if you'd let me know anyway. I'll come and find you at the bar of the venue when the concert is finished if I hear nothing, okay? I really want to talk to you again, in person.
See you very soon then, I guess,
Lots of love, and again I hope I didn't upset you with the bit about letting your kids in on your grief, I didn't mean to.
Haz